Love it or hate it: Jerseys

Love itI love sports jerseys because you can’t kinda wear a sports jersey. You go out in public with that thing on, you’re in, you’re committed, you’re broadcasting: “Not only do I like sports, but I like this particular team so much that I’ll wear this (somewhat ridiculous) article of clothing unlike any other, just so I’ll feel more a part of the collective, a part of the family, a part of the team.”

And say what you will about “super fans think they’re a part of the team and they’re not.” You put on the jersey of your favorite team and you’d be lying if you didn’t feel a little like you could walk onto the field as well. Funny how clothes can play tricks on our minds.

Jerseys are also a great way to build community with other fans, these unavoidable billboards, these slightly tacky wardrobe decisions. Jerseys can unilaterally establish street cred: Sporting the uniform top of a long-retired player or a now-defunct franchise, and you automatically stick it to all the johnny-come-lately’s donning this year’s model.

Who knew wearing a gaudy-colored oversized shirt with numbers on it could be so rewarding?

— David HolubHate itThe sports, I don’t do them.

Hockey can suck it. Basketball can suck it. Football can suck it. Baseball can especially suck it. Pick what it is you want sports to suck. Let’s start with a vinegar-soaked glitter brick.

I get it, people need a tribe, they need a religion, they need an opiate. For many Americans, sports fills the need for community, but seriously, why does your community require you to spend $27.63 billion on sportswear annually?

I mean, I guess your sports jersey is like the equivalent of my band T-shirt. You went to the game and got a shirt. I went to a show and got a shirt. Both represent an authentic, much-loved experience where players have worked their entire lives on a talent and a crowd applauds them for it. Keep on keepin’ on, you sports weirdos. I guess we’re not really that different.

Though the aesthetics, man. I’ll take my black band tee over a bright red Bulls jersey or a blue and red Cubs shirt any day.

— Patty Templeton