Showerbeer: The pinnacle of luxury and sophistication

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Colossal Sanders for DGO
Ar 180309689
Colossal Sanders for DGO

Have you ever experienced the unbridled magic and supreme satisfaction of drinking a cold beer during your steamy shower? You may have seen “showerbeer” articles shared in your news feeds and chuckled, or said, “I should try that once,” but have you actually given it a shot? If not, then forgive the clichéd parlance, but you haven’t lived.

Right about now, some of you are saying, “Not realistic. My delicious beer would be ruined by Old Spice Wolfthorn body wash suds trickling into the mouth of the can.” If you thought this or anything close to it: stop reading now. You’re not the fun type, and likely have trouble tying your shoes without nearly having an aneurysm. Stick to macaroni art. No one will get hurt.

Are they gone? Cool. Now, the rest of us can delve into the beautiful realm of being a little dirty while making yourself clean.

The history of the showerbeer is dodgy at best. There are “resources” online claiming it started as a frat boy tradition, then made its way into the mainstream because of online hype. The truth is: the showerbeer is likely as old as the shower itself. I’d also imagine that drinking a beer in a bath predated the shower beer by hundreds of years. This is all good news because the idea that elephant-walking frat gorillas had anything to do with the creation of one of my favorite pastimes made me want to ugly cry. (Please Google “elephant walk.” Trust me … you’ll be horrified.)

Genesis aside, the showerbeer has been a big part of my life for years. First off, it’s a perfect hangover cure. A hot shower helps fix a hangover itself, but throw in the hair of the dog that bit you, and that shower is nothing short of a miracle healing at a rural tent revival in the Deep South.

Secondly, beer is a decent “recovery drink.” The fitness freaks that are reading this know what I’m talking about. A recovery drink is one that you drink after exercise to help replace vital nutrients and water you just spent. I have been working out a lot over the past six weeks (because I’m a fatass), and have found that enjoying a single beer as I rinse the hate-sweat off myself to be soothing and beneficial. It has the right kinds of carbs, electrolytes, and plant-based nutrients to help you recover. You should only drink one, though, and it should be 5 percent alcohol by volume or less. The one glorious yet recovery-hindering ingredient in beer is alcohol. If you indulge too much after a workout, you’ll be doing more damage than good.

The third, final, and most important point I want to stress about the showerbeer: it’s baller as hell. Try drinking a tasty, cold adult beverage in your shower without thinking you’re damn near royalty. It can’t happen. In my less-than-humble opinion, it is the pinnacle of luxury and sophistication. Screw diamonds. Bentleys ain’t shit. Showerbeers 4 Life!

Sean Moriarty has been drinking craft beer since before he was legally allowed to. He managed and bartended at Steamworks Brewing Co. from 2007-2017 and currently manages their digital marketing.