Om, nom, nom, CRUNCH, slurp - that’s Alfred Packer sucking out the marrow from your leg bone. Packer was a prospector who, in the winter of 1874, ate FIVE MEN who were traveling with him. If you ever get a time travel machine, it’s probably a good idea not to trek through mountains unprepared for winter in the 1800s after Chief Ouray has told you bad weather was coming in. Packer nearly froze to death, slayed companions, consumed their human flesh in a raw state, somehow was lucky enough to make it back to civilization, and was then sentenced to prison (instead of hanging). He served 17 years of a 40-year sentence and then became a guard at the Denver Post.
You can visit the supposed site where Packer ate his pals. It’s in Lake City, Colorado. There’s a big ol’ wood sign hollerin’ out “ALFRED PACKER MASSACRE SITE,” but not much else besides a marker stone, which is why you should also hit up the Hinsdale County Museum. The museum is only five bucks for adult entry and has the largest collection of Alfred Packer memorabilia in the world, including a victim’s skull fragment. Is it macabre? Hell yes. Is it still compelling AF? Absolutely.
Bonus: The museum gives ghost tours, cannibal tours, and all kinds of fun historical lectures. Visit www.lakecitymuseum.com for hours, events, and a more in-depth cannibal-tastic experience.
Double bonus: Yes, Packer is the dude who the “South Park” creators based the black comedy horror musical “Cannibal! The Musical” on.