A review of the Pootie Tang strain without double entendres
I’m going to just come right out and say it. This week’s strain is called Pootie Tang, and I am going to do my very best to try and avoid double entendres and inappropriate jokes in this review. NO PROMISES, THOUGH.
Kapa-Chow! Let’s do this.
So, Pootie Tang is new to Prohibition Herb’s shelves, and will be ready to grab this Thursday, just in time for the weekend (or your meeting with Billy Bush). The strain is a sativa-leaning hybrid, created by crossing Tang Tang and LA Kush, which is presumably where half of that Tang name comes from.
The Pootie Tang buds were thick and sticky enough clog my grinder, and I was a bit taken aback at how much this bud smelled like skunky chemicals. It’s not a bad smell, mind you, but there is definitely a sharp, rubber scent lingering in there, kind of like the tire aisle at Costco. That’s not my favorite aisle, but it’s not noxious. Not every strain can smell like roses.
And what this strain lacks in scent pleasantries was made up for almost immediately when I lit up a bowl. The taste is also kind of chemically and harsh, but it brought on some serious bouts of nostalgia, because it tasted just like that weed we used to score from the sketchy dude in our high school. I have plans to roll the leftovers into a joint and light it up for my high school homies. It only feels right.
I like that bitter taste – I associate it with silly, chatty times spent with friends who are long lost – and while there are strains out there that taste more like potpourri than a tire factory, I am sold on the taste of this one for nostalgia’s sake alone.
Luckily, I don’t have to rely on the nostalgia factor for this review, because that certainly isn’t the only thing ol’ Pootie Tang has going for it. I felt the effects kick in pretty quickly – this one ain’t a creeper – and it wasn’t long after I smoked that my head and entire face felt like they were full to the point of bursting with helium. It was a total head high, although for some reason, this time it also involved my feet. My notes say, verbatim, “My feet are high.” I don’t know. Maybe they were.
Those initial effects were all sativa – my mind was going a mile a minute and I had bursts of ideas (mainly totally inappropriate jokes that I will avoid using here, because I am a grown-up) – but it wasn’t long before a calm, relaxed feeling took over my body, and I was high in that typical cartoon-depiction manner. My eyes felt like bricks, my mouth was a literal desert, and at one point, I realized that I was closing my eyes but thought I was still reading whatever it was I’d been reading before smoking. You get the idea. I then ate an entire package of garlic bread and passed the hell out. Life was good.
This is a good strain if you can get past the name. It’s one I’ll keep around on the regular, both because it reminds me of the good ol’ days of smoking at the park after school AND it gets me pretty darn high. So, in the (in)famous words of Louis C.K.’s Pootie Tang, “Sa Da Tay!” I think that roughly translates to two thumbs up. Your guess is as good as mine.