It’s another week in the Land of Terrible Tattoos. Spill the tea on your bad ink decisions and we’ll fix you up with a chance to improve your circumstances with either a free cover-up with Robert Smith of Black Mountain Tattoo in Cortez or a free consultation and two free laser removal sessions with Durango Dermatology. To vote online for the worst tattoos, visit dgomag.com and scroll to the bottom of the bad tattoo stories and pick your favorite worst tattoo.
To submit YOUR disaster of a tattoo for a chance to win, comment on one of our contest posts on Facebook or email us at email@example.com. We’ll add the best-worst stories and photos online each Thursday, our readers will vote, and the winners of the cover-up and laser sessions will be announced the week of December 20.
The choice is yours, dear readers. You can’t go wrong on a deal like this.
Dolphins and reusable ink jobsI originally drew up a tattoo of two dolphins coming together with a heart in the middle. It was meant to represent my mom and I coming together in love no matter how far apart we may be (just like dolphins do). The first person to do the tattoo never got the chance to finish. I went to another person, who I thought did good tattoos, only to discover (after they finished) that not only did they make it look horrible but that they reused their ink. I wound up with a massive staff infection in my back that nearly landed me in the hospital. Thank God that is all I wound up with! Take three I went to a tattoo shop and had someone professional work on it. He did his best and made it look WAY better then it had. Getting a cover up that truly represents my mom would mean the world to me after losing her 6 years ago.
I would love to have a cover up by Robert as I have seen his work and truly admire it.
Motor home tatsI got these two tattoos barely into my 20s. I was eager to get inked and had found these two tattoo ideas from a temporary tattoo sheet, of all things! There was a guy who’d come into our town for certain events and parked his motor home off the side of the main street through town. I thought he must have been good at his job because people would always go to him. Well, needless to say, you get what you pay for...You be the judge of the work I had done!
(Editor’s note: Analise is competing for the cover-up)
Analise MahnkenAngle eyesI had my ex-husband do some homemade tats. He put “angle eyes” on me instead of “angel eyes”! So that one needs to be fixed or covered! I have a bunch he did that needs fixed or covered!
By the way: Not sure if you’ve gathered it yet, but we’re hooking you tf up and fixing your poor life decisions for you.
If you want to win the laser sessions or cover-up, all you have to do is send us a photo, a short story about your crappy ink job, and tell us which prize you want to win in an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
We’ll throw the best-worst stories and photos online each Thursday, our readers will vote, and the winners of the cover-up and laser sessions will be announced the week of January 13.
Easy peasy...well, aside from the shame. That part we ain’t got no solution for. Guess you gotta live with it. /shrug