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Edible review: Best to stay away from Stillwater’s Gentle Green Tea if you have a lot of shit to do

Ar 181129672
Stillwater's Gentle Green Tea made me relaxed...too relaxed.
Ar 181129672
Stillwater's Gentle Green Tea made me relaxed...too relaxed.
Ep 181129672
Instead of a tea bag, when using Stillwater's Gentle Green Tea, you use a tea stick.
Ep 181129672
Instead of a tea bag, when using Stillwater's Gentle Green Tea, you use a tea stick.

Edible review: Best to stay away from Stillwater’s Gentle Green Tea if you have a lot of shit to do

Stillwater's Gentle Green Tea made me relaxed...too relaxed.
Instead of a tea bag, when using Stillwater's Gentle Green Tea, you use a tea stick.

At the top of Stillwater Brand’s can of Gentle Green Tea is the phrase “relax into life,” and, man, do they mean it.

With a loooong to-do list hanging ominously over my head, I am constantly a jumble of nerves and anxiety. So, I decided to pick up a can of this tea at Durango Organics. Stillwater’s Gentle Green Tea is made with Ripple, a water-soluble cannabinoid. According to the cannister, this gluten, vegan, and BPA-free product was organically grown in the Darjeeling region of India and is lightly caffeinated.

Mentally preparing to shut myself in for a lengthy evening of work, I decided to try and loosen up a bit and give my new tea a try. Admittedly, I am not a tea person. Heavily caffeinated coffee runs through my veins and I’m ride or die. I usually only drink tea when I’m sick, but given my anxiety about everything I needed to get done, I went for it anyway.

I admired the sleek packaging as I dug out a tea packet. The tea sticks come in plastic coverings which you have to cut out. After filling a mug with hot water, I dropped my tea stick into the water and waited for the flavor to filter through. While I have to say I prefer the tea bag aesthetic to the tea stick look, the tea stick did the job.

It took several minutes for the water to absorb the tea, and it took a while for it to look delectable and not like swamp water. I got all kinds of ribbing from my house mates as they know I am not particularly fond of tea, and I wasn’t sure whether I would enjoy the flavors of tea and Mary Jane. But, honey covers all sins, so I dumped a little into my cup of tea and proceeded to my work corner.

To my surprise, Gentle Green Tea tasted like any ol’ cup of tea I would buy at Walgreens while I had the flu or a terrible cold. I could detect no hint of marijuana in my tea sipping.

It made me feel cozy, warm, and serene, just like the little cannister had promised. It didn’t make me feel high, which I was nervous about, given the amount of things I needed to get done. Instead, it made me feel relaxed. TOO RELAXED. I was falling asleep, which was not in the plan.

All in all, I drank about a cup and a half of the tea to make sure I was getting the full effect. The results were feeling as though I were on a dream cloud, the outcome of which would be best put to use when I wasn’t needing to tackle such a long task list.

Sir Blaze Ridcully