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Here’s what happens if you smoke Flo before bed

Details

Where to find Flo: I won’t make any jokes about the name. You can find this strain at Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino Del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com

Caveats: Prohibition didn’t cause us to dream about Chad Kroeger for this review. The fever dreams, and opinions, are all our own.

Here’s what happens if you smoke Flo before bed

I made the mistake earlier this week of falling asleep after I’d smoked some Flo, the strain we’re reviewing this week from Prohibition Herb. It wasn’t a BAD idea, per se, but it definitely led to some weird ass sleep patterns. Here’s what happened.

Let me tell you a little bit about Flo first. This strain is a hybrid created by crossing Purple Thai and Afghani, and contains about 12 percent THC. The buds are tiny, dense, and this super cool deep purple mixed with a hint of dark green, and they smell SO good, like pine needles and lemons. I didn’t expect the buds to be such a deep color given its light, airy scent, but alas, that is what I found when I dumped them into my hot little hand. I like surprises.

And let me tell you, Flo was full of surprises. I was running really behind on this deadline, so I smoked a bowl of Flo the night before this review needed to be written. And when I say night, I mean I smoked it at 10:30 p.m., which was maybe not the best idea, considering I had planned to pass out after I got the gist of the strain. Well, let me tell you...passing out is not really an option for a while after smoking this strain – at least for me, anyway. I was awake, clear-headed, and yet somehow pretty darn stoned. Oh, and my mouth was as dry as the Sahara. So make sure you keep copious amounts of liquids on hand if you’re indulging in this one.

Also make sure you have a good grip on your phone, because as I was reading in the hopes that it would bore me to the point of passing out, I kept feeling my phone slip sideways out of my hand and flop on the bed. Over and over and over this happened, and no matter how many times I tried to communicate to said hand that it needed to get a better grip on the cellular device, it still would not cooperate. I’m not sure why. I wasn’t super body stoned – I did have a weird feeling in my tongue, but I assume that was from being zapped of all water and left as the human version of Spongebob when he visits Sandy Cheeks in her dry fishbowl – yet my hands were being anarchists. Go figure.

Oh, and I also at one point stared down at the notes I was taking and thought the words were italicized. They were not. My handwriting is not italicized (although it would be cool if it was). I have no clue whether this was from being stoned and exhausted or if it was just the effects of the strain. Figure that one out yourself and report back, please.

One upside of having uncooperative hands was that I accidentally clicked on a link to the video for “Bad Ted Cruz Lip Reading,” and it was the best mistake my sloppy high self has made in a hot minute. I was cry-laughing.

After I’d finally worn myself out laughing, I finally fell asleep, presumably while still stoned. I spent the rest of the night waking up from weird ass dreams that involved trying to buy thousands of helium-filled balloons to float up to the sky with Chad Kroeger of Nickleback. Weird does not do it justice.

Anyhoo, if you’re awake and it’s the middle of the afternoon, you should check out Flo. She’ll do ya right. Just beware of the weird Chad Kroeger fever dreams you’ll have if you force yourself to sleep on it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

DGO Pufnstuf

Details

Where to find Flo: I won’t make any jokes about the name. You can find this strain at Prohibition Herb, 1185 Camino Del Rio, 970-385-8622, prohibitionherb.com

Caveats: Prohibition didn’t cause us to dream about Chad Kroeger for this review. The fever dreams, and opinions, are all our own.