High Ass Recipes: Bomb Diggity Popped Corn
At the movies, I will straight up slay a tub of GMO-grade kernels slathered in palm oil, high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavors, worshiping every pudgy grub-full of that low-grade garbage. At home, however, I like my popcorn gourmet, so here are four bomb-diggity recipes to make your high ass grin with pure glee.
What you need:
2/3 cup of popping corn (aim for non-GMO and preferably organic. What’s the matter with you?!)
¼ cup of coconut oil (if you’re a fatty like me, you can also add 1 tablespoon butter)
1 tsp. salt (if you’re a salty dog like me, you’ll prolly want more)
2 tablespoons honey or agave nectar
Spices, spices, spices!!!
1. Nacho Libre: ¼ tsp cayenne pepper, ¼ tsp. fresh ground pepper, ½ tsp. cumin
2. The Darjeerling Limited: ½ tsp. curry, ¼ tsp. fresh ground pepper
3. Cinnamon Toasted: ½ tsp. cinnamon, 1 tsp. sugar
4. Poorman’s Cheese: 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese (unless you want to raid a box of macaroni and cheese for the powdered cheese packet), ¼ tsp. fresh ground pepper
I ain’t no scientist when it comes to the chemistry of poppin’ corn, but I’ve developed a method that mostly seems to work. Get yourself a pan with a lid, turn up the heat to medium/low and drop in the coconut oil. When it’s melted, add a couple of kernels to test the temp. As soon as those brave little soldiers pop, add the remaining kernels, hold the lid tight and shake until they’re all fully coated in oil. Once all are puffed and popped, turn off the heat, add salt and spices, drizzle with honey or agave nectar and shake, shake, shake to ensure maximum flavor distribution. Taste, adjust, devour.
— Jaime Becktel