The weekend probably couldn’t have gotten more chill, albeit weird, thanks to Wana Brand’s new product line of disposable vapes. Feeling one with music. Turning my stomach into a senseless vacuum. Turning me into a smiley dope who couldn’t hold a conversation. Yep. No regrets here. As soon as we caught wind of Wana’s new product line of disposable vapes, we knew we had to get our stoner hands on them, and by the grace of Zuul, we did.
Wana, best known for its edibles line, recently released four disposable vapes. Each pen boasts proprietary terpene distillate blends that combine over 40 organic botanicals for flavor and claims to have consistent effects every time. The concentrates, we are told, are produced from single-source, pesticide-free cannabis using CO2 extraction. On another upside, these vapes don’t contain harmful solvents, fillers, or cutting agents. A win for all! Each of these babies is loaded up with 300 milligrams of concentrate.
In short, the sleek little guys are so easy to use, it’s basically impossible not to get stoned within minutes of opening the package.
This week, we tested two of their new pens – the CBD/THC 1:1 Balanced and the Sativa Diesel – which we picked up from Durango Organics. The other options, if you find yourself interested, include Hybrid Haze and Indica Kush. Here’s what we thought of the two we tried.
CBD/THC 1:1 BalancedLevels: THC – 38.3%; CBD – 38.38%With just a few puffs, I was floating in a cloud of a happy head high. Everything was good. Everything was chill, man. Everything was mellow. There were no problems in the world. No deadlines. No stress. No need to worry about anything.
A fruity tasting inhale with a spicy aftertaste, I was perfectly content smoking this pen alllllll afternoon. And maybe evening.
After puffing on this vape for a bit, I felt a (probably misplaced) confidence that I could do it all. Except maybe hold an intelligent conversation, judging by the looks I was getting from people. Because my brain felt like it was enveloped in a blanket of fuzz, it was sometimes difficult to make out what people were trying to tell to me. I usually nodded in sympathy/agreement/whatever emotion they needed me to convey and tried in vain to catch hold of their slippery words before their meaning was lost to me. Alas...
At some point, I made the decision (mistake?) to tag along to the casino. I floated dreamily after my companion, who was determined to get lucky. I, on the other hand, whimsically watched my measly $20 get chipped away at a rapid pace while the game slots made my head spin like I was chatting it up with the hookah smokin’ caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland.
Sativa DieselLevels: THC – 70.02%; CBD – 0.31%I solemnly swear never to cook after smoking a few (OK, maybe more than a few) puffs of this. A friend and I decided we were in the mood for chicken enchiladas and thought it would be a good idea to make dinner whilst stoned out of our minds.
This was both a good and bad idea.
Good: We couldn’t stop laughing at the dumb shit we said or forgot to do while trying to follow the very extensive enchilada recipe. On top of that, we were blasting everything from Rise Against to Pimp C on our speakers, screeching along to our very diverse music playlist. We were immediately sucked into the music vortex, headbanging away and serenading each other. At one point, in the midst of feeling like I should probably start a band, I think my friend tried explaining something to me. To this day, I could not tell you what they were saying. I know I must have looked like an idiot because as soon as I tried to pretend like I had followed the conversation, they laughed in my face.
Bad: I was tasked with the very important role of making the guacamole. Unfortunately, at that point in the game, I had completely lost my ability to taste, which quickly became a stumbling block. In Stonerville, there is no such thing as taste. Only food. Food that needs to be shoveled in your mouth. NOW. And, so it was with the guac. No idea whether it was edible or not.
Eventually, we lost our steam. I looked over from taking a break from jamming chips into my mouth to see my friend had lost all their the willpower and was laying on their very small kitchen table bench. It didn’t take me long to follow suit and wander into the living room, seeking the company of the couch.
Sir Blaze Ridcully