Strain review: Brain OG
I am not going to lie to you, friends. Brain OG stinks. It stinks so much that as I type this, I can smell it seeping out of my desk drawer. It is a stank ass strain.
Perhaps that’s because it’s a product of Lemon OG and Sour Diesel, the two strains that were crossed to create ol’ Brain OG. Sour Diesel smells like a tanker full of diesel fuel, and Lemon OG...well, it’s skunky as hell, and hardly a worthy opponent to fight the fumes that emanate from Sour Diesel. Together, this combo is one skunk-funk powerhouse.
One of the cool things about Brain OG is that while its stench is, uh, less than pleasant, the taste IS pretty pleasant. It’s almost nondescript, if you can imagine. It tastes like smoke.
And, it’s not just the stink-stank-stunk of Brain OG that is powerful, either. It is also the effects, which I learned last night after I smoked one bowl of this stuff. Bowl. Singular. Holy stoned, you guys. By the time I walked into my house, I was like, thermometer-busting stoned, and felt like I was walking through a fun-house, but I can promise my house is not a leftover carnival attraction. I am not that cool.
And, I found out that the effects are very unique to this strain. After smoking that singular bowl, I not only felt like I was walking into my house sideways, but I also got EXTREMELY hungry – like, ate mac and cheese with my hands hungry (the shame is real) – and then felt like I was super smart because I suddenly understood all of the jokes on Parks and Rec, a show I have until recently ignored.
Anywho, after stuffing my face full of the mac and cheese that had been sitting in a pan on the stove, I made a s’more in the microwave, binge-watched some excellent sitcom writing, and then passed out face down. I woke up about an hour later with my housemate saying, “Uhhh...did you just try to say something without moving your mouth? Like, in your throat?”
“Yes. I said hmm mmm to the dog cause he won’t stop scratching,” I said.
He laughed before replying with, “Uhhh, the dog is asleep. Right there. (Motions to the ottoman where the dog is sleeping.) He didn’t move.”
“Yeah, well I want proof that it wasn’t (other dog) then,” I said.
“THAT IS THE OTHER DOG,” he replied, again dissolving into laughter. “How stoned ARE you?”
Apparently very. Very stoned. But whatever. It’s not my fault that Brain OG is into cuttin’ bitches with its indica prowess.
After my semi-embarrassing dog faux paus, I peeled myself off the couch and walked up the stairs to my room to pass out in peace. It was a struggle to walk upright. I kinda felt like Flat Stanley, and held onto both railings as I did so.
And, before you call me a lightweight or something, I smoked this strain with another friend (not Judgy McJudgerson with the dog situation), and that friend was equally as zonked.
That’s cool with me, though. I think Brain OG, while perhaps more aptly called One Brain Cell OG, was a fun ride. Every once in a blue moon, I’ll share the love and give the leftovers from a strain review to a friend or stressed out coworker, but not this time. I’m hiding Brain OG and keeping it for the next time I want to check out and laugh at nothing...so like, tomorrow, probably. Sorry, fools. This one is all mine.