I dropped my phone in the toilet this week. I’m not going to **totally** blame Castaway, the sativa hybrid strain we reviewed this week from Prohibition, but I do find it suspect that my phone went for a dive after I smoked something named after a person who hides on the boat on the high seas. On the upside, I’ve upgraded my phone and am now forever indebted to AT&T. Super.
Anyway, here’s what happened. I picked up an 1/8 of this strain from our favorite local legal pot dealers over the weekend and as soon as I stuck my nose in the container, I knew this one was special. I was super excited to try it out, not only because Prohibition’s new strains are always freaking baller, but also because this strain, which is a cross of Banana OG and Papaya, smells like a fruity skunk. It was so odd. And I love weird things. Even weird smells.
If that weren’t enough, this stuff was pungent enough to be a dead giveaway. Apparently it was so overwhelming that a friend of mine smelled it as soon as they walked in to my house. I believe the exact phrase was: “Uhh, you smokin’ in here or did something get sprayed by a skunk?” Luckily, it was the former.
And I, being the good ass person I am, offered to share. It was a wise idea, considering that this strain contains over 22% THC, and it was bound to knock me onto my pirate ass. Better to share the bowl. Only problem, though, was that we didn’t stop at one bowl so my “limit yo’self, dumbass” plan went right overboard. Part of the issue was that this strain tastes pretty much how it smells and it made me choke nonstop. That was funny, and it was also funny that this stuff reeked so badly, so in between the laughter and the escalating high, we just kept packing and repacking the bowl. All of a sudden my mellow high went to a super high, and my brain, while pretty clear, went right onto a “find food” mission. I was also super thirsty, and I managed to — in my stoned yet organized state — track down all the snacks I had hidden in the pantry.
With salty snacks comes the need to drink water, though, and the more I ate, the more water I ingested. You see where I’m going here. Anyway, I went from starving to satiated, but I also had to pee because of all the freaking water I drank to wash down the pretzels and Nutella. (Pro tip: eat that combo now and forever. You can thank me later.) Second problem was that I was so stoned I was engrossed in some dumbass video with the kids from “Stranger Things” on “Lip Sync Battle” and didn’t want to put my phone down to do it. So ... I didn’t put it down.
Well, not at first, anyway. My smart ass was able to navigate both tasks pretty well until a pleasant but unnerving kick to the skull from Castaway took over and my hands went all mumble-f@!ked. It was then, in my moment of YouTube and weed weakness, that I dropped my phone in the toilet. It sucked.
What sucked even worse was that I panic grabbed it. I’ll spare you the rest of the details, but I’m now like $999 poorer, which means I’ll be writing these weed reviews for you for the next 200 years. As a bonus, I get to type “new phone, who dis” in response to texts without even being snarky. I really don’t know who it is.
That’s OK, though, because if I get to keep reviewing strains like Castaway, that smelly broad who caused me to cast my phone into the toilet sea, it’ll be worth it. It was exactly what I’ve come to expect from Prohibition’s strains: it hit hard, fast, and I had a ton of fun. This castaway can stow aboard my ship any day.