This past weekend I smoked some weed and felt like I was a slightly crunchy spaghetti noodle. File that under “things that have never happened before,” please. Here’s what happened.
So, I picked up some Ice Cream Cake #5 from Rocky Mountain High on a Friday night and tossed it in the passenger seat for my four-minute drive home. By the time I pulled in the driveway, my car absolutely reeked. It smelled like a mixture of sweet cheesecake, vanilla cookies, and weed. First thing to note: This stuff is super pungent.
It’s also super pretty. I wanted to see what this weed was that was causing a fumigated fuss in my car, so I popped open the lid to take a gander, and it was clear before I even dumped them out that these nugs were beautiful. I poured them into my hand for some super scientific examination, and found they were fat, dense, and covered in orange hair. <Insert hilarious-yet-inappropriate junk-in-the-trunk joke here.>
Unleashing the nugs from their plastic container prison only upped the fragrant ante. You could almost see the Pigpen stink lines emanating from the chunky nuggets. And that voluminous stench was noticeable to other people, too. One of my housemates walked in the kitchen right after I’d poured this stuff out and felt it necessary to exclaim, “OH MY GOD. IT REEKS OF WEED IN HERE.” No kidding...? You guys do know what my job is, right?
I decided to load a bowl then and there since I was already palming the weed anyway, but it took a minute, because this strain is incredibly sticky. It stuck to my fingers, to my grinder, and probably would have stuck to the wall had I tried. I dare say Snoop would be impressed with this sticky-icky. Once I had the ground weed scraped off my grinder and loaded, though, we were good to go. This strain had a nice, even burn, and I was surprised to find that the weed tasted as good as it smelled.
You will probably not be surprised to hear that its effects were as strong as the sticky stench, either. Ice Cream Cake #5 is an indica hybrid, and this particular batch tested at over 22 percent THC, but I felt like I’d ingested an edible. I was high with a capital H. My notes say, “I am so f@!king stoned off my face,” and I kept laughing at nothing. It was a vicious, stoned cycle and I dug it.
And, once the laughter subsided, I sunk deeper still into a trippy, warm indica embrace. Per my notes, I felt like I could hear a “coven of coyotes” (I am aware that’s not the right term), and my head was spinning around to the point that I felt like I was on a merry-go-round. I went and laid on my bed, and then promptly felt like I was rolling off of it. I wasn’t. I wasn’t even close to the edge. But I definitely felt like I was a floppy, falling noodle.
And then at some point I passed out. I didn’t even shovel chips into my mouth before crashing out, which I would have expected my stoned self to do. I just rode that weird, THC-induced ride until my eyes closed involuntarily. I woke up the next morning starved and completely amused with myself.
This strain is a good one, but it is effing STRONG. I wasn’t expecting it, and now I can’t wait to smoke out a few friends to see if they feel like they’re sliding off the bed after being cooked al dente, too. Considering how blazed I got, chances are good that will happen.