Strain review: Lemonana wax from Newt Brothers
Google “Lemonana strain” and you won’t come up with much – the search mainly returns recipes, photos of some fancy lemonade, and a handful of other random stuff. It’s a shame that there isn’t much info out there about the greatness of this stuff, because if you ask me – and unfortunately for you, that’s the point of this column – Lemonana deserves much more than a few photos of (admittedly delicious-looking) sour drank.
But, at least I’m here for you to set the record straight that Lemonana, while apparently a frozen beverage, is ALSO a type of wax extracted by the Newt Brothers, and can be found in fancy little Ziplocs at Prohibition Herb.
So, since you can’t Google it, what is Lemonana wax, you ask? Well. Let me tell you. Lemonana wax is a sativa hybrid concentrate made primarily from Lemoncello, Banana Kush, and Banana Hood herb. The name is obviously a nod to the banana and lemon notes you get from its parents, both of whom reek (in a mighty good way) of the fruits for which they are named.
I didn’t really notice the lemon terpenes when I initially opened the tiny Ziploc containing Lemonana – I was too intrigued by the process of unwrapping the tiny package inside. This wax arrives not only by zipped baggie, but also wrapped in a stiff paper, which until now, I thought was reserved for shatter and other harder concentrates. The more you know, I guess.
What I did notice, though, was that this little batch of waxy goodness was so oily that it had stained the paper in which it was held. Thank the gods for those good terpenes, and thank the Newt Brothers for preserving them in this batch of wax.
I threw a nice chunk of this wax – which is a firmer consistency than a few of the waxes we’ve tried lately – into a vape pen late one weekend evening, and only had to press it once to get a good melt going. This stuff heats right up, so there wasn’t a burnt or chemical taste from overheating it. I inhaled, and then – as is apparently par for the course with waxes lately – promptly choked like I’d attempted to inhale an entire campfire.
It only took a few decent inhalations to get to the point where I could notice the effects, which is pretty badass. I had been struggling to get some writing done, but after a few puffs of this Lemonana biz, I was raring to go. My head felt clear, I wasn’t as dead set on procrastinating, and I blazed through (pun certainly intended) the rest of the story I was working on without getting snagged or distracted by what was going on around me. I love a good sativa, especially one that gets the ol’ creative side of my brain pumping, and that was definitely what happened with this wax.
And, after I’d exhausted my productive side, I threw on some Lucero, dragged a friend into the kitchen, and spent the next two hours making a lot of chicken...like, multiple pounds of the stuff. And then I ate half the pan cause, well, I was stoned.
The only problem with this Lemonana-induced cooking plan (aside from the whole “ingesting 18,000 calories in one sitting” thing) was that we went to the store while slightly stoned – don’t worry; we didn’t drive – and it seemed like a really great idea to buy waaaaaaaay too much chicken. Someone (ahem, not me) read the instructions as saying 3-pounds of chicken, but as you may have guessed, t’was not calling for three effing pounds of chicken. It was 1/3 of a pound.
So, now I have a LOT of leftover cooked chicken just sitting in a plastic container in my fridge, and I’m not entirely sure what to do with it. But, I have hope. I’m just going to heat up some more of this wax and let my brain do the talking. I’m sure Lemonana won’t steer me wrong.