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Strain review: Special Ops Pho Wax

Details

Where to find Spec Ops Pho Wax: Pagosa Therapeutics, 235 Bastille Drive, Pagosa Springs. Find them at 970-731-4420 or pagosatherapeutics.com

Price: $35 a gram or $25 on Waxy Wednesdays, when Pagosa Therapeutics hooks you tf up on wax prices.

Strain review: Special Ops Pho Wax

I’ve had a few crappy days at work recently, and they’ve led to headaches that feel like a herd of elephants with all the pack members stomping around in my brain. In other words, it’s been heinous. Nothing helps. Not more water, not sugar, not caffeine, and not even leaving the office.

Nothing but Special Ops Pho Wax, anyway. It’s a solution I discovered by accident a few days ago while testing out the product for this review. The relief came in a jar of Spec Ops wax from Pagosa Therapeutics.

As it turns out, this strain, which was developed to help people with PTSD, is equally adept at resolving crushing, throbbing, never ending work headaches. I’m sure you all know that is invaluable. I suppose it should be no surprise that a strain created to help treat PTSD would also be effective at knocking out slight work-PTSD, but for some reason I hadn’t thought of it.

Anyway, as I said, I walked into my house with a headache that wouldn’t let up and was dreading doing anything but laying on the couch and wallowing in misery. I couldn’t do that, though, because I had waited to try this wax until the last minute. I was forced to scoop off a chunk of Spec Ops wax and toss it into the vape pen instead. (Poor me.)

I inhaled some of the vapor, which comes towing about 70 percent THC, and immediately choked. This stuff was strong, thick, and very, very effective. First hit, headache gone. Second hit, I am stoned out of my gourd. In fact, here are what my notes say, in order from the first note to the second:

1.) “Raging headache is gone.

2.) I don’t think I have ever just eaten chocolate chips out of the bag.

As you can see, I went from headache relief right into shoveling chocolate chips into my mouth straight from the bag. At least they were milk chocolate, I guess. I’ve never done that before because it’s freaking gross, but with Spec Ops wax, I had different ideas, I guess.

I also had different ideas about “Hotel Transylvania 3,” which was blaring in the background courtesy of Netflix. I know those movies are for people under like, 12 years old, but they’re hilarious, so I guess I flipped the third one on at some point. It was a good call, even if it was done in a stoned stupor, because that movie while high is trippy as hell. I don’t know why a cartoon vampire is so amusing when he’s dancing to Bruno Mars on a cruise ship in the Bermuda Triangle, but it is. I highly recommend it.

I also highly recommend not having anything to do if you’re going to smoke some Spec Ops wax, because at one point, I forgot how to blink. I shit you not. My eyes got so dry and blurry, and when I finally remembered to blink, it took a few solid ones to undo the dry damage I’d done while staring, mesmerized, at the TV. I swear I’m an adult.

This is one of those strains that makes time go by super slowly, so I’m not really sure how long I was high for – in fact, one of my notes says, “Oh my god. I thought it had been two hours but it’s been 16 minutes.” – but I know I passed out at some point and slept like a baby without that headache.

Spec Ops wax is a good one, you guys. Anything that can help treat PTSD in this post-apocalyptic world is worth all its weight in gold, and anything that can cure one raging work headache is even more valuable to me. Next time I’ll hide the chocolate chips, though. I don’t need that shame in my life.

DGO Pufnstuf

Details

Where to find Spec Ops Pho Wax: Pagosa Therapeutics, 235 Bastille Drive, Pagosa Springs. Find them at 970-731-4420 or pagosatherapeutics.com

Price: $35 a gram or $25 on Waxy Wednesdays, when Pagosa Therapeutics hooks you tf up on wax prices.