Ever been so stoned that, try as you might, your brain acts as a repellent to any information someone tries to relay to you? Well, stoner friends, that was exactly my experience with a Green Dot Labs Black Label Live Resin cartridge and I came out a lot dumber for it (in a good way).
If you don’t know much about Green Dot Labs, here’s the lowdown — founded in 2014, this company is family-owned by Alana and Dave Malone and exclusively focuses on cannabis extracts. Green Dot Labs uses pure, uncut live resin extracted from their Boulder grow in their signature Black Label Live Resin cartridges.
Aside from the cartridge (we’ll get to that momentarily), the Green Dot Labs vape itself is a fantastic tool. With a sleek and clean build, it’s user friendly (just make sure to read the instructions first, unlike me) and fires a mean dose. You can even customize what mode you want to smoke on — a low temperature, less intense session, a medium temp that offers a balance between flavor and impact, and a high setting that, true to its name, will get you really high really fast but won’t provide a lot of flavor.
Best of all, this vape is great if you want to be discreet at a social gathering and step into a bathroom for a few tokes.
I went with Green Dot Labs’s indica-leaning strain Purple Ztarburst, the spawn of Purple Punch, Zkittles, and Starburst OG. To get the full feel of this live resin cartridge, I tried out all the temperature settings. To my delight, when the vape was set on low and medium modes, the flavor pulled actually tasted like a Starburst, sweet and citrusy. Interestingly enough, the smoke itself smelled earthy and musky.
It only took but a few tokes on the medium setting and I was pretty stoned. Like, hallucinating stoned. So, naturally, I decided to take it up another notch and smoke a bit on the high-temperature setting. Like Green Dot Labs warned, the cartridge lost its sweet flavor but the high was mighty fine.
I thought I was stoned before? HA. I knew nothing, as the old “Game of Thrones” saying goes. Turned out, that was even more true than I realized. I was dumb stoned, wandering around my home and organizing piles and trinkets with no real intentions. I kept thinking I saw things move out of the corner of my eye and convinced myself that my house was haunted, though it didn’t bother me much.
True to its indica roots, this strain gave me a calm, heavy body high. After a while, moving too much became out of the question and I entered couch-lock mode.
I was pleasantly stupefied, you might say. That is until a friend of mine convinced me to play “Paper Dolls.” If you’re not familiar with this video game, count your lucky stars. I’m still not entirely sure what the plot is, but basically, you wander around an abandoned structure filled with ghosts while looking for your lost daughter.
The number of times I threw my controller out of pure terror should have signaled that I was in no state of mind to be playing any kind of video game, much less a horror one.
I’ve no idea when or how, but at some point, I completely passed out with no awareness of how or when. All I know is that, at some point, I threw on some trash TV while I got my fill on munchies and went out like a light amidst a pile of wrappers and crumbs.
If you want my opinion, which I’m assuming you do, you won’t want to pass up on a Black Label Live Resin cartridge. If you’re a stoner newb you might want to steer clear of this one, but if you’re a pro and ready to check out of this planet, this is the cartridge for you.
Green Dot Labs Black Label Live Resin Cartridges are available in Durango at The Greenery (208 Parker Ave Suite E, Durango, CO) and in Crested Butte at Soma (423 Belleview Ave, Crested Butte, CO) and at Backcountry Cannabis (329 Belleview Ave A, Crested Butte, CO). Learn more about Green Dot Labs’ products and find a retailer near you at www.greendotlabs.com.
Sir Blaze Ridcully