Weed review: Pax Era and Harmony pods
I have spent my morning playing vape-related games on an app instead of working. I suppose if I wanted to, I could justify my serious bout of dicking around by saying it’s technically for work, because the games are on the Pax Era app that goes with their Pax Era vape, which is quite possibly the most sophisticated vape I have ever seen.
Like, for real. The Pax Era is the newest Pax vape, and even if you don’t consider the fact that it gets you supah-stoned, it’s still so freaking cool, you guys. It connects by bluetooth to your smart phone, you can customize your vape and control your temperature ranges via the app, and you can track things like how many hits you took, too. Basically, this thing is like the FitBit of vapes. Tell me what to do, Pax. Want me to take a walk to log a bunch of unnecessary steps? Cool. I’m all yours.
This vape is a closed system, meaning that it only works with Pax Pods, which are available in different strains and from different concentrate companies. I chose Papaya Huasca live sauce from Harmony Extracts, an indica concentrate with 72.02 percent THC, mostly because of the name. The pod, like all of Harmony’s products, was top notch, and it fit right into the end of the rectangular vape with no mess. Fancy!
One of the coolest things about the Pax Era is that you can choose not only your temperature, but your dosing, too. So, if you’re like me and you tend to way freaking overdo it with concentrates, you can use the “session control,” which lets you choose between micro, small, medium, or large doses. I didn’t do that the first time I used it, of course, because I didn’t bother to read the instructions and I didn’t know it existed. As I learned very quickly, Papaya Huasca is freaking strong. Use session control. Learn from my mistakes.
With this vape, you don’t click anything. You just inhale, so it’s easy to inhale a LOT of vapor, which I did. One hit in and I was choking like crazy, even though the steady stream of vapor is cool and doesn’t burn. You could definitely taste all the terpenes in the live sauce pod, which threw my smoking partner off at first. And, when she inhaled, she also choked. And choked. And choked some more.
Shortly after gasping for that precious life-sustaining air, we were both very, very stoned. It didn’t take much at all to get there. A few choke-riddled hits and we were on another hilarious planet.
Like, not exaggerating. We were on Mars. We sat down to watch some Marvel movie, and I kept hoping Hit-Girl from “Kick Ass” would pop onto the screen, which made me laugh to myself like a damned idiot. And, at one point I turned to talk to my friend about something, and found that she was flat-out mumbling to herself. That, of course, set me off into hysterics, a state from which I did not emerge.
In between laughs, my mouth felt like the freaking Sahara, so I was gulping water and trying not to choke as my friend tried to gather herself and speak coherently. She did not succeed. During one of the commercial breaks, she turned to me, mind blown by whatever nonsense was running through it, and said: “Did you know that Ben Affleck’s name is the same as Afflack?!” And yes, she did the Afflack duck voice to emphasize. We are idiots.
Anyway, I loved this vape and the Harmony pod. It was the easiest vape I’ve ever used, and you can even play some weird version of spin the bottle with the vape’s app, should you be so inclined. Just make sure you set the dosing to a manageable one, or you’ll end up making Afflack duck sounds on the couch and then passing out face down on a leather cushion for hours...not that there’s anything wrong with that.