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Your guide to drinking your family away for the holidays

Ar 181219615
Colossal Sanders for DGO
Ar 181219615
Colossal Sanders for DGO

Your guide to drinking your family away for the holidays

Colossal Sanders for DGO

No matter your background, beliefs, or upbringing, this is typically the time of year when lots of alcohol is necessary for survival.

Maybe you like your family but need to take the edge off because you know the question and subsequent judgment of your relationship status is coming. Maybe you’re someone who REALLY can’t stand their family and showing up for the holidays is the one time of year you agree to act like you’re part of the team and will, in turn, be needing a lot of booze to keep from saying something ugly to your sister-in-law. Or, maybe your family just likes to have a lot of fun and drinking away the reminder of how much y’all spent on each other’s gifts is how you like to spend your time. We don’t judge!

So, in case you are looking for ideas on how to get through the holidays with more than just your flask shoved into your coat pocket, here are a few booze hacks we came up with.

You can holiday-ify any of your favorite drinksMargaritas made of coconut milk. Cranberry juice in your mimosas. Cran-apple cider in your sangrias. There are a million ways you can go with this, substituting your booze ingredient with shit that will make your drunk self feel festive. Careful drinking too many of these sugary drinks, though. No one wants to help cure your hangover during the holidays. It’s Christmas (or whatever you celebrate). Don’t be selfish.

Fancy holiday shotsDeceive your family into thinking it’s OK for you to be drinking shots because they’re festive. In fact, we recommend pouring a healthy shot of Wild Turkey into a glass, dipping the rim into cinnamon, and using an apple slice as a garnish. Just maybe take it easy on these. Remember, no one you’re related to wants to know why you and your ex really broke up.

Dry ice makes everything coolerDistract everyone from fighting and from how much you’re drinking by performing the magic trick of incorporating dry ice into your fancy little cocktails. Pretend that winter is coming to your Christmas mojito or your holiday hot chocolate spiked with RumChata. Or perhaps you are an X-Men mutant that can make smoke come out of your drinks. It’s OK. None of us are adults here.

Hide it in your eggnog/hot chocolateYes, that’s right, pour that bourbon into your hot cocoa. Dump that rum into your glass of eggnog. Stir it with a candy cane for good measure. No one will be the wiser until they inevitably smell the booze on your breath. You are very sneaky.

Flask in the coat pocketOK, fine. We hear you. It’s too much work. Go ahead and use your flask. Be warned though, you’ll probably have to share at some point.

Amanda Push