Love it or hate it: Breakfast

by David Holub

Love itMornings are when it’s most quiet. Mornings are when I have the most energy. Mornings are when there is always a pot of coffee on.

When it comes to traditional lunch, dinner, and breakfast foods, breakfast is the clear winner. Carbs, protein, fat, and sugar: How can you go wrong? You can top a flaky buttermilk biscuit with apple butter OR sausage gravy. What versatility, depending how sweet your tooth is upon waking. And if you want straight-up dessert for breakfast – donuts, cinnamon rolls, muffins – it’s completely socially acceptable.

How do I know breakfast is the superior meal? People eat breakfast for dinner regularly; rarely does one eat dinner for breakfast. And what’s with lunch trying to steal breakfast’s thunder on the weekend? Why doesn’t anyone eat linner or dunch? Why is it lunch who always wants a piece of breakfast? Because breakfast is awesome.

Oscar Wilde once said, “Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.” Oscar Wilde never partied with me all night, and then had my coconut waffles in the morning.

— David HolubHate It I admit it. Even when I wake up early, I seem to suddenly be running just-on-time for work. Breakfast gets squeezed out of the morning to-do list.

Regardless of time, my give-a-damn is busted for breakfast. I do not care. I am not hungry. I do not want it. Most American breakfast food is fat-soaked and ughhhhhhhhhhh, to boot. I’m also a Bartleby-brat who doesn’t like to be told what to do and what the most important meal of my day is. I resent learning that you should eat a smidge of something in the a.m. because it jump-starts metabolism (if not possibly cognitive function).

Begrudgingly, I have toast and coffee when I get to work.

Oddly enough, I don’t despise all breakfast foods, I just don’t like them in the early hours. Offer me whole wheat fresh blueberry pancakes at midnight and I’m all in.

There’s no excuse for any of this behavior. Sorry, ma. I know you tried. Please don’t worry. I promise I’m not gonna kick the bucket from lack of breakfasting. I think. I’m pretty sure. I MEAN, I HAVE PROTEINY TOAST. Geez.

— Patty Templeton


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Social Media

Most Popular

Get The Latest Updates

Subscribe To Our Weekly Newsletter

No spam, notifications only about new products, updates.


On Key

Related Posts

70s idioms

25 Freaky deaky 70s idioms

From the Renaissance to the Age of Enlightenment, there has been no shortage of periods in history that have shaped society in terms of scientific


One-Hit Wonders of Hip-Hop

In the 50 years since its inception, hip-hop has become a powerful force to be reckoned with. Born in the Bronx and raised by Black

Receive the latest news

Subscribe To Our Weekly Newsletter

Get notified about new articles