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Dear February 14th: It’s not you; it’s us

Dear February 14th,

You are the day where we throw little hearts in the air and pressure us to express our love all at once. You ask us to perform perfection with an emotion. You give us one day to express all the little and big things we feel. You tell us to buy roses by the dozen, reserve dinners, present chocolates —...

Latest Sex & Love

How to have naked sex outside when it’s freakin’ cold

In an attempt to celebrate winter, as it is winter for the majority of my readers, I’m going to reprise one of my popular columns – a handy guide to sex in the great outdoors. Instead of naked frolicking in summer fields of wildflowers, I’ll be focusing on how to navigate sex when it’s cold outside. It is important to note...

Savage Love: Wannabe cuckold tired of waiting for wife to engage kink

I’m a 30-year-old bi male. I’ve been with my wife for five years, married nine months.

A month into our relationship, I let her know that watching partners with other men has always been something I wanted and that sharing this had caused all...

Gird your loins; we’re feeling feisty

I love the handful of earth you are.Because of its meadows, vast as a planet,I have no other star. You are my replicaof the multiplying universe.

Getting introspective to be a better partner in 2020

It is the time of year where celebrations and indulgences are coming to an end. We are turning into the beginning of a new year faced with at least two months of dieting and exercising ads (read the following in a highly sarcastic voice: so we can become a better version of ourselves). I lament the loss of easy joy, indulging...

A last minute present guide for your lover(s)

Have you waited to the last minute to get your lovers* a present? No worries I have a few suggestions that won’t empty your wallet and can be accomplished in the days you have left until whichever holiday you celebrate arrives.

I recognize that not everyone is interested, able, or at that stage in a relationship where...

Feeling glum about how you look? Try getting naked

When many of us wake up and look in the mirror, we don’t love what we see. And that can be a problem.

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, people with negative body image, regardless of gender, are more likely to develop an eating disorder and suffer from feelings of depression, isolation, low...

Sex on the couch: What a sex coaching session is really like

When I first began conceiving my business plan for Birds and Bees, I was focused on workshops because I love being in rooms with groups of people. It quickly became evident that my joy and ease with sex topics wasn’t always going to lead to rooms full of people. How was I going to meet the needs of individual clients, when I...

Savage Love: Husband’s extreme sexual anxiety is killing woman’s libido

I’m a heterosexual cis woman in a monogamous marriage. My husband and I have always struggled to connect sexually, mostly because he has extreme anxiety that makes doing anything new or different difficult. He’s been in therapy since before I met him, but it doesn’t seem to be helping...

There is no way to measure virginity: not in a box, not with a fox, and certainly not with a hymen

In an effort to be an inclusive and supportive voice in the arena of sexuality, I do a lot of work to temper my feelings on most topics. I write several drafts and attempt to build understanding around the nuance and diverse opinions on a topic. This column is going to look and sound differently because this is a topic that I...

Savage Love: Jealous boyfriend makes it hard to enjoy kinky play

My boyfriend and I met online to explore our kinks. We’d both been in relationships with kink-shaming people who screwed with our heads. Since we weren’t thinking it was more than a hookup, we put all our baggage on the table early and wound up becoming friends. Eventually we realized we...

First rule: We don’t talk about the Fight Club

When I hear people discuss how great their relationships are because they never, ever fight it makes me concerned and a bit sad. I believe the differences in people are what make relationships worth having and worth the hard work to maintain.

Don’t be a mimicSocial norms and...

Trick or Treat: A Halloween sex quiz to show us how smart you are

Trick or Treat: Let’s play a game to test your sexual knowledge!

(Answers can be found at the end of the column)

1. Male bodies can only have one orgasm at a time.

2. Nipples and lips are regularly mentioned as the...

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