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First rule: We don’t talk about the Fight Club

When I hear people discuss how great their relationships are because they never, ever fight it makes me concerned and a bit sad. I believe the differences in people are what make relationships worth having and worth the hard work to maintain.

Don’t be a mimicSocial norms and...

Latest Sex & Love

Trick or Treat: A Halloween sex quiz to show us how smart you are

Trick or Treat: Let’s play a game to test your sexual knowledge!

(Answers can be found at the end of the column)

1. Male bodies can only have one orgasm at a time.

2. Nipples and lips are regularly mentioned as the...

We need to teach heterosexual, cisgender men about sex

There is an underserved and neglected segment of the population when it comes to sex education and it is not who you think. Heterosexual, cisgender men. This group within society holds most of the power and privilege and yet, they are seriously lacking when it comes to sexual knowledge. Society perpetuates the idea that...

FYI: You’re probably using condoms incorrectly

The steps to using a condom correctly is one of my favorite pieces of information to share, partially because folks seem to be surprised when I list off more steps than they were expecting. Also, it is fundamental information to protect against STIs (sexually transmitted infections) and/or pregnancy. Condoms are one of the...

Rape is not about sex, orgasm, or pleasure It’s about power and domination

In this edition of the Sex & Love column I will be talking about sexual assault and abuse. Please take care of yourself and skip this column if you need to. There is 24 hour support for survivors through Durango’s Sexual Assault Services Organization (SASO) at 970-259-3074 or...

Savage Love: Collar and leash kinks, suicide girl obsessions, and ageism

I don’t listen to your podcast religiously, but as soon as I told my best friend this story, she said, “That’s a question for Dan Savage!” Backstory: I have a monogamous partner who I live with. It’s a heterosexual relationship, but we are both bisexual. That little inkling of...

Savage Love: I’m a straight woman in my mid-20s and have never had an orgasm

I’m a straight woman and have been sexually active for about six years. I’m in my mid-20s now and about ready to become a “man-hating feminist.” I feel like I can figure out what a guy wants in bed pretty easily. I cannot remember a single time when I’ve had sex with a guy that he has not...

Explore identities, boundaries, desires, and more at the Human Sexuality Community Workshop

The Human Sexuality Community Workshop (HumSexComm) is an intensive 12-week workshop for folks 18 years and older that encourages the exploration of identities, boundaries, desires, experiences, power, and privilege – all through the lens of sexuality.

HumSexComm is a space to delve deep into what unites us, whether we...

A handy guide to sex in the great outdoors

Don’t let these deliciously hot summer days go by without baring your ass to the elements! Sex outdoors can be thrilling and hot, hot, HOT! Success includes avoiding bugs, cleaning up your mess, and not getting caught.

Does a bear sh*t in the woods?Is your outdoor sexy space a field...

A healthy way of stepping outside sexual monogamy is possible

What do you do when you look at someone who is not your primary partner and you say, “Yumm!”? How do you meet your sexual needs when the love of your life is no longer able to have sex due to illness? When you meet someone new and you want them to know that you prefer an open relationship, what do you say? Are you interested...

Savage Love: My boyfriend stealthed me and took a condom off

I’m a 42-year-old single, straight female who recently started dating a 36-year-old man in a somewhat exclusive, long-distance relationship. We have known each other for a short time, but have clocked hours upon hours on the phone. I have specifically stated many times I don’t want kids of...

What is a sexologist? How I became one, and what we actually do (hint: it involves sex)

We have had much of the summer to get to know each other. I’ve been writing to you about the first time having sex, LGBTQ facts, exploring the perineum, and how sexy consent is when done properly. One of the things we haven’t discussed, however, is what I do. When I bump into you on the street, the most common question is,...

Savage Love: Prostate massages and being ghosted by a BDSM hook-up

I’m a 36-year-old straight guy, happily married for more than 10 years, and a longtime reader. My wife and I are monogamous. We’re good communicators, well matched in terms of libido, and slightly kinky (light bondage, Dom/sub play in the bedroom). For the last few months, I’ve been...

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