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Anal sex is the cherry on top of the taboo sundae of sex

Let’s circle back around to anal sex.

So often our narrow view of sex as being penis into vagina holds folks back from pleasurable experiences. Sex is defined by the individual and can include ANY activity — kissing, holding hands, intimate conversation, sexting, oral, solo or mutual masturbation, fingering, anal,...

Latest Sex & Love

Getting all twitterpated about BDSM

BDSM is not my main swimming pool. It’s an adjacent and smaller swimming pool for the work that I do. There are amazing practitioners and educators whose BDSM pool is bigger and so I make referrals and stick to my generalist pool. As a generalist, I will need to swim in these adjacent, smaller pools so that I can meet clients...

A dispatch from a braless, bleeding, C^$!-reading sex coach sheltering at home

One positive I have found from the stay-at-home order is the opportunity to go braless! It is my favorite, easy pleasure to come home at the end of the day and take off my bra. The release of pressure, the sense of freedom, and the easing of containment. I’m lucky my girls are of moderate size and manageable. My bras don’t...

Now, more than ever, you should be having sex

Disclaimer: Stress and illness can annihilate a person’s libido. If you or your lovers aren’t interested in sex — listen and take a break. Physical touch can help relieve stress and lift our emotional health AND you don’t have to be turned on and doing it all the time. I promote masturbation and sex because that’s what I do....

Sex In The Time of COVID-19

How do you have sex when practicing social distancing?

The short answer is you don’t have sex.

Of course, the world and how we interact with it is not black and white. It is important to remember that I am not a medical doctor and you should absolutely be listening to doctors, epidemiologists, and other health...

How one Durangoan is trying to help performers get started in the adult industry

Ever thought about taking it all off on the Internet for money?

At first glance, becoming a webcam model sounds easy – you get in front of your computer, go online, take your clothes off for an audience, and get paid for it. But, there are also a bunch of decisions to make and many hoops to jump through: What equipment...

A discussion of the damage done by the patriarchy

I was going to write about anal sex for this upcoming column. Instead, as I read the news that Elizabeth Warren has dropped out of the Democratic Primary for President of the United States, I realized there is more that needs to be done to talk about equality, misogyny, privilege, patriarchy, and...

Savage Love: Sleep apnea sufferer wonders whether he can still have rough oral sex

I’m a middle-aged gay man and I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea. This is a disorder caused by the soft tissue in the throat collapsing during sleep. On top of making me feel tired and awful all the time, sleep apnea is associated with a long list of health complications.

I’m writing you because I’m into very...

There is space in our culture for sexual downtime

How can someone be a sexual being without engaging in sex? In my recent work to debunk myths about heterosexual, cisgender men and their relationship to sex, one of the larger perpetuated myths is that men are “always” sex ready and here’s a pill if that’s not working. My response was nope. Nope. Nope! A man’s worth is not...

Dear February 14th: It’s not you; it’s us

Dear February 14th,

You are the day where we throw little hearts in the air and pressure us to express our love all at once. You ask us to perform perfection with an emotion. You give us one day to express all the little and big things we feel. You tell us to buy roses by the dozen, reserve dinners, present chocolates —...

How to have naked sex outside when it’s freakin’ cold

In an attempt to celebrate winter, as it is winter for the majority of my readers, I’m going to reprise one of my popular columns – a handy guide to sex in the great outdoors. Instead of naked frolicking in summer fields of wildflowers, I’ll be focusing on how to navigate sex when it’s cold outside. It is important to note...

Savage Love: Wannabe cuckold tired of waiting for wife to engage kink

I’m a 30-year-old bi male. I’ve been with my wife for five years, married nine months.

A month into our relationship, I let her know that watching partners with other men has always been something I wanted and that sharing this had caused all...

Gird your loins; we’re feeling feisty

I love the handful of earth you are.Because of its meadows, vast as a planet,I have no other star. You are my replicaof the multiplying universe.

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