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Rape is not about sex, orgasm, or pleasure It’s about power and domination

In this edition of the Sex & Love column I will be talking about sexual assault and abuse. Please take care of yourself and skip this column if you need to. There is 24 hour support for survivors through Durango’s Sexual Assault Services Organization (SASO) at 970-259-3074 or...

Latest Sex & Love

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Savage Love: Collar and leash kinks, suicide girl obsessions, and ageism

I don’t listen to your podcast religiously, but as soon as I told my best friend this story, she said, “That’s a question for Dan Savage!” Backstory: I have a monogamous partner who I live with. It’s a heterosexual relationship, but we are both bisexual. That little inkling of...

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Savage Love: I’m a straight woman in my mid-20s and have never had an orgasm

I’m a straight woman and have been sexually active for about six years. I’m in my mid-20s now and about ready to become a “man-hating feminist.” I feel like I can figure out what a guy wants in bed pretty easily. I cannot remember a single time when I’ve had sex with a guy that he has not...

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Explore identities, boundaries, desires, and more at the Human Sexuality Community Workshop

The Human Sexuality Community Workshop (HumSexComm) is an intensive 12-week workshop for folks 18 years and older that encourages the exploration of identities, boundaries, desires, experiences, power, and privilege – all through the lens of sexuality.

HumSexComm is a space to delve deep into what unites us, whether we...

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A handy guide to sex in the great outdoors

Don’t let these deliciously hot summer days go by without baring your ass to the elements! Sex outdoors can be thrilling and hot, hot, HOT! Success includes avoiding bugs, cleaning up your mess, and not getting caught.

Does a bear sh*t in the woods?Is your outdoor sexy space a field...

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A healthy way of stepping outside sexual monogamy is possible

What do you do when you look at someone who is not your primary partner and you say, “Yumm!”? How do you meet your sexual needs when the love of your life is no longer able to have sex due to illness? When you meet someone new and you want them to know that you prefer an open relationship, what do you say? Are you interested...

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Savage Love: My boyfriend stealthed me and took a condom off

I’m a 42-year-old single, straight female who recently started dating a 36-year-old man in a somewhat exclusive, long-distance relationship. We have known each other for a short time, but have clocked hours upon hours on the phone. I have specifically stated many times I don’t want kids of...

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What is a sexologist? How I became one, and what we actually do (hint: it involves sex)

We have had much of the summer to get to know each other. I’ve been writing to you about the first time having sex, LGBTQ facts, exploring the perineum, and how sexy consent is when done properly. One of the things we haven’t discussed, however, is what I do. When I bump into you on the street, the most common question is,...

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Savage Love: Prostate massages and being ghosted by a BDSM hook-up

I’m a 36-year-old straight guy, happily married for more than 10 years, and a longtime reader. My wife and I are monogamous. We’re good communicators, well matched in terms of libido, and slightly kinky (light bondage, Dom/sub play in the bedroom). For the last few months, I’ve been...

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Consent: It’s mandatory and sexy

Before we get started, I want to emphasize that verbal consent is mandatory before engaging in sexual behaviors. I do not mess around with consent and neither should you. If your sexual boundaries have been violated, please reach out to RAINN (www.rainn.org) or locally, you can call the...

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Savage Love: How to find reluctant or nonconsensual porn that isn’t portraying rape

My fiancé and I have been in a relationship for 11 years. His best friend is one of his exes, and that has always bothered me. What do I do?Needing Guidance After Getting Engaged

You could make up your mind to get over it, NGAGE. Or you...

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Three cheers for the perineum!

There are many different erogenous zones on the human body and each person has their favorite. For some it’s nipples or ears, for others it is the back of the neck, and still others find the back of the knee or the inside of the elbow to be the hot spot. I encourage you to explore all of your erogenous zones and try out...

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Savage Love: Do gay men have more sex than straight men? And why?

I’m a single gay guy in my late 30s. I’m quite introverted and a bit shy, yet I have a big sexual drive and a rich libido. I’ve always found the gay scene overwhelming, and my several attempts at online dating were not very successful. I feel my quiet ways tend to put people off and I...

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