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Sex & Love

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What to do about the scourge of our nation, Fox News?

My father is a friendly, kind, all-around good guy. We get along well and always have. But I now have to avoid all political discussions with him. He was always a bit socially conservative, but now he gets a lot of batshit crazy and simply dumb ideas from the scourge of our nation today: Fox News. How can we stop the dumbing...

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Is going out to fulfill vomit kink considered cheating?

I’ve been aware of my emetophilia since a very young age and have always kept it private. No need to tell me about the health risks, I’m aware, and I’ve only ever indulged this kink through videos online. The actual substance doesn’t turn me on – I have no desire to be puked on. For me, the fantasy involves being with someone...

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Is it illegal to buy a hot guy’s used underwear, sweaty tanks?

I’m a 49-year-old gay man. I’ve become friends with a 21-year-old straight guy. He’s really hot. He’s had to drop out of college and return home. I know he needs money, as he hasn’t found a job yet and has resorted to selling off old music equipment. I would love to have some sweaty clothes of his, namely his underwear, but...

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Expat needs to make kinky proposal to boyfriend ASAP

I am a 20-something, straight, cis-female expat. How long do I have to wait to ask my German lover, who is übersensitive about the Holocaust, to indulge me in my greatest – and, until now, unrealized – fantasy: Nazi role-play? He is very delicate around me because I am a secular Jew and the descendant of Holocaust survivors....

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Sex questions from an uninhibited audience

I was honored to speak at JCCSF – Jewish Community Center of San Francisco – last week as a part of their “Uninhibited: About Sex” lecture series. The audience submitted questions on cards, which were ably put to me by Jourdan Abel, who was wearing a wonderful uterus-themed sweater. (Check out my Instagram account –...

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Physical, sexual compatibility important in healthy marriage

I’m a 24-year-old male, married three years, monogamous. My wife and I are religious and were both virgins when we got married. I’m sexually frustrated with two things. (1) How can I get her to give me oral sex? (She has never given and I have never received oral sex. I regularly give her oral sex.) She is afraid to try it,...

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Kinksters: Better get your kink on while there’s still time

I’m a 27-year-old, feminist, conventionally attractive, straightish, GGG woman. Over time, my tastes have changed, and now I find myself more of a kinkster.

A few years ago, my desire for kinkier sex and my willingness to take a chance came together in a mutually beneficial, exciting D/s relationship. I’ll be honest: I...

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When it comes to rough sex, it’s better to overthink it

I’m your average straight 42-year-old white guy. Married for a little less than a year (second marriage for both). We have an active sex life and are both GGG.

My wife wants to be forcibly [bleeped] – held down and raped. Normally I’d be all over this because I do love me some rough sex. My issue: She told me she was...

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Will you stop with the long-winded answers already?

Are you incapable of concision? Your answers are too long! You blather on, often rehashing the problem (unnecessary!) before giving four words (at most!) of (rarely!) useful advice. I’ve heard you say you have to edit letters down for space. Try this instead: Edit yourself! I want more of the letters – more from the people...

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So you snooped and found something bad. Now what?

Gay, 30-something male in DC. My boyfriend of three years has been acting strange – not taking his antidepression meds, says he’s feeling weird. He has withdrawn from me, sleeps 15 hours a day and has been canceling on commitments to socialize with friends. That I am fine with – he’s blue and I get it. Here’s why I’m writing:...

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Where Sherman Alexie steps in to help answer a question

My husband is Native American. I’m white. We’ve been together 16 years, raising a couple of kids. We love each other very much, so this isn’t a deal breaker. I’ve got a thing for his long black hair. He’s a drop-dead gorgeous man, and while I gave up asking that he wear leggings or a breechcloth once in a while, I wish he...

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Refreshingly racy: Why I chose to run ‘Savage Love’ in DGO

I’ll admit, there have been some “Savage Love” columns that have made me uncomfortable. There was one, two weeks ago about a practice known as “sounding” (Google it ... but not at work) that I physically had to stop reading, lest I squirm out of my chair onto the floor. And sometimes I just don’t feel like reading such frank...

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