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Sex & Love

Savage Love: My boyfriend stealthed me and took a condom off

I’m a 42-year-old single, straight female who recently started dating a 36-year-old man in a somewhat exclusive, long-distance relationship. We have known each other for a short time, but have clocked hours upon hours on the phone. I have specifically stated many times I don’t want kids of...

What is a sexologist? How I became one, and what we actually do (hint: it involves sex)

We have had much of the summer to get to know each other. I’ve been writing to you about the first time having sex, LGBTQ facts, exploring the perineum, and how sexy consent is when done properly. One of the things we haven’t discussed, however, is what I do. When I bump into you on the street, the most common question is,...

Savage Love: Prostate massages and being ghosted by a BDSM hook-up

I’m a 36-year-old straight guy, happily married for more than 10 years, and a longtime reader. My wife and I are monogamous. We’re good communicators, well matched in terms of libido, and slightly kinky (light bondage, Dom/sub play in the bedroom). For the last few months, I’ve been...

Consent: It’s mandatory and sexy

Before we get started, I want to emphasize that verbal consent is mandatory before engaging in sexual behaviors. I do not mess around with consent and neither should you. If your sexual boundaries have been violated, please reach out to RAINN (www.rainn.org) or locally, you can call the...

Savage Love: How to find reluctant or nonconsensual porn that isn’t portraying rape

My fiancé and I have been in a relationship for 11 years. His best friend is one of his exes, and that has always bothered me. What do I do?Needing Guidance After Getting Engaged

You could make up your mind to get over it, NGAGE. Or you...

Three cheers for the perineum!

There are many different erogenous zones on the human body and each person has their favorite. For some it’s nipples or ears, for others it is the back of the neck, and still others find the back of the knee or the inside of the elbow to be the hot spot. I encourage you to explore all of your erogenous zones and try out...

Savage Love: Do gay men have more sex than straight men? And why?

I’m a single gay guy in my late 30s. I’m quite introverted and a bit shy, yet I have a big sexual drive and a rich libido. I’ve always found the gay scene overwhelming, and my several attempts at online dating were not very successful. I feel my quiet ways tend to put people off and I...

Got LGBTQ+ questions? We’re here to guide you

This year is the 10th anniversary of the Durango Pride March! Happy Pride!

The purpose of having an entire month dedicated to LGBTQ+ people is to raise awareness about the murders of transgender women of color; that as recent as 2015, 58% of Colorado youth felt unsafe at school based on their sexual orientation,...

Savage Love: Single mom is considering hiring a male sex worker to scratch the itch

I’m a straight cis woman in my early 40s and a single mother. I have not dated or hooked up with anyone in years. While I miss dating, the biggest issue right now is that my sex drive is off the charts. While watching porn and masturbating once my child goes to sleep helps, I really want...

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Do you remember your first sexual experience? There was likely some fumbling in the dark; awkward, slobbery kisses; rushing and finishing; and then wondering what all the fuss is about. What if you had knowledge about how to have good sex or even great sex? What if someone had taught you to talk with your sexual partners to...

Savage Love: My empath friend is emotionally draining

I keep running into the same issue with my best friend of five years. (She’s also my maid of honor at my upcoming wedding.) We’re both empaths – most of my friends are – and we’re both in therapy working on how to cope with that. I have severe anxiety that impacts my physical health, so...

Savage Love: I have herpes and didn’t tell my partner

Garbage human here. I’ve had herpes for about 15 years. The first five years, I was in a relationship with a guy who also had it. The last 10 years, I haven’t been in a serious relationship. I’ve been a (rare, drunk) one-night-stand type of gal, and I don’t usually tell the guy because,...

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