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Sex & Love

Savage Love: I’m only attracted to Asian men. Are race-specific sexual preferences normal?

I’m a straight white woman in my early 30s. In theory, I’ve always been into men of all races – but in practice, most of my exes are Latino and white. In September, I met this really handsome Chinese American guy, and I feel like he rewired me. I’ve been exclusively attracted to Asian guys...

I found photos of my grandfather sexually abusing my mom and I don’t know what to do

My grandfather was a pillar of the community and beloved by his family. He was also sexually abusive. He died when I was a child. I remember only one incident happening to me – during a cuddle session, he encouraged me to put my mouth on his penis, and then told me to let it be our little...

Savage Love: Brother-in-law needs to gay-man-up

I’m a gay guy in my late 40s with a straight sister in her early 50s. She’s been married for a bit over two decades to guy who always registered as a “possible” on my average-to-good gaydar. But I put “BIL,” aka my brother-in-law, in the “improbable” bucket because he actively wooed my...

Savage Love: Sex-positive abstinence, sock fetishes, dinnertime dookies and whiny boyfriend

Can I still be considered sex-positive if I personally do not have sex? I’ve never had sex or masturbated – all my life, any type of sexual stimulation has been very painful and I’ve been unable to experience orgasm. I simply get a migraine and feel mildly nauseated instead. I am not...

Rocky Road: polyamorous relationships and an aversion to nice people

I have always been a bit of a free spirit, and I want to talk to my partner about the idea of exploring a non-monogamous relationship. To be blunt, I want to open our relationship up to other partners – but I’m afraid if I suggest this, my partner will get upset. How do I approach the...

Kinky activism: How New Mexico sex worker Sera Miles is fighting to legitimize the industry

If Sera Miles hasn’t had phone sex for a few days, she feels a bit off. Luckily for her, she’s the CEO of People Exchanging Power (PEP), so it isn’t too much of a problem.

We chatted with the Albuquerque-based sex worker and activist for our Valentine’s Day issue to learn more about what it’s like working as a sex...

Savage Love: Safe paralytic sex and non-sexual mummification

I am a 56-year-old heterosexual man, and I have lived with ALS for the past six years. I am either in a wheelchair or in a hospital bed, and I have very little motor ability in my limbs. Like most or all male ALS patients, I still have full sensory ability, including a fully functioning...

Thanks, weed! How cannabis is making your sex life better

Just as sex sells, so does weed. So, one (us) could argue they’re a bit of what you might call a match made in heaven, provided you’re one to believe in soul-mates and the afterlife.

And, we’re not alone in our thinking. As humanity grows in our understanding of human sexuality, our pursuit of how to make sex a better...

Rocky Road: A problem with work-life balance and fear of changing careers

I’m in a position where I work a lot, and I’m having a hard time finding a work-life balance. I find myself working all weekend to make sure I’m ahead, and I feel guilty when I take any time for myself. This past weekend I had family in town (I hadn’t seen them in months) and I made myself...

Savage Love: Stealthing, male sex work, and drinking urine

I’m a 21-year-old woman, and I have an IUD. I’ve had sex with quite a few men, and one thing seems to be almost constant among them: trying to fuck without condoms. Many of the men I’ve been with seem to be perfectly fine and terribly eager to have sex without condoms. This has always...

Rocky Road: Outgrowing your long term partner and triggering old self destruction

My boyfriend and I are currently on break at my request. There were a lot of glaring issues such as a lack of communication and boundaries that was making being together miserable for both of us, and I’ve had to deal with some personal mental health issues recently that I don’t feel he...

Savage Love: Accidental SPH kink-shaming and a fake ultimatum

I’m a middle-aged man dating a younger guy. He wanted to be a “boy” to a Dom top daddy, and I was happy to oblige. The sex is amazing, and we click as people, too. Then a couple days ago, he told me he wanted to explore small penis humiliation (SPH). I was taken aback – not by the request,...

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