Dgo woarrow

Savage Love: Sex-positive abstinence, sock fetishes, dinnertime dookies and whiny boyfriend

Can I still be considered sex-positive if I personally do not have sex? I’ve never had sex or masturbated – all my life, any type of sexual stimulation has been very painful and I’ve been unable to experience orgasm. I simply get a migraine and feel mildly nauseated instead. I am not...

Latest Sex & Love

Ar 180929672

Swipe right

If your love of music usurps your love of your love life, we might have the perfect dude for you. He’s a Nepalese-English-teaching DJ, a beer-schlepper, and a self-proclaimed music snob with a love of the outdoors and a (necessary) hatred of gluten. So, if you’re a backcountry skier who’s avalanche-trained and cool with...

Ar 180929720

Rocky Road: A so-called advice column

The best advice I ever got was a question.

I was 17 and I was the living embodiment of a big hot mess. If it was ever depicted in a movie about teenage rebellion, I was doing it. (OK, “Less than Zero” came out that year, and I will admit to being outdone in self-destructiveness by the character Julian, as played by the...

Ar 180929987

Swipe right

If your love life is shattered like your iPhone screen, perhaps you should consider this week’s single, a man who might be able to repair both your heart and your device. He’s a tech-disdaining techie with a knack for fixing things, and if you’re clumsy like us, with a perpetually smashed phone screen, his handiness might...

Ar 180929993

Savage Love: Fresh starts and oral orgasm issues

I am newly divorced and have started a relationship with a man I’ve known and deeply cared about for decades. The sex is amazing – from start to finish, I feel better than I ever did even in the best moments with my ex. And in the most intense moments? He makes me see stars. He is a very...

Ar 180929994

Life Hax: I’m dating a guy who has a wife. How do I tell my friends?

My best friend, “Pam,” and I have been friends since college, and run a small catering business together. We were married the same year and have children who all grew up together. While Pam is still married, I’ve been divorced for years.I love...

Ar 180919848

Life Hax: My ex loves cocaine and strip clubs

For a few years in high school, and a few years again in our late 20’s, I dated a man who my family – and I – love. He’s still my best friend, but we’re no longer romantically involved. In total it was probably six years.But he likes strip clubs...

Ar 180909726

Savage Love: Cuckolding, bondage freak-out, and role play

I’m a cis woman in my mid-40s, and my significant other has a cuckolding fetish. My first response was “Oh, hell no!” But if I’m willing to have a threesome, how much further of a stretch is it, really? He does have some experience with this varsity-level kink, so he knows what to expect....

Ar 180909879

Savage Love: Quickies

This woman has gone down on me (I’m a man) more than half a dozen times in the last three months. Each time seems to be better than the previous! She does not want reciprocation. She has also turned down all my offers for intercourse. As far as I know, she is heterosexual just like me....

Ar 180829795

Savage Love: Pickles and sex surrogates

I’m in a pickle. All I want is to experience touch, intimacy, and sexual pleasure – but without freaking out. I grew up with a lot of negative messages from men due to developing early, as well as having some other physical/sexual trauma (no rape or abuse), but the combination has me...

Savage Love: Secret perving

I’ve been enjoying consensual nonmonogamy for the past two years, in part thanks to your column and podcast. I have a delightful young lover, and our connection has evolved into a kind of Master/slave relationship. I “allow” her to fuck other men and women, and she delights in asking my...

Ar 180819951

Savage Love: Après Pill, Le Déluge

I'm a 27-year-old woman living on the East Coast. I've been sexually active and on birth control since I was 16 – almost always on the pill. I recently switched to the NuvaRing, which I had a bad reaction to: I had no libido at all and extreme mood swings/bouts of depression I could not...

Ar 180809740

Savage Love: Differences

I’m gay and have been dating a guy for 10 months. He’s great overall, and I would say for the most part we both want it to work out. But I am having a problem with his friends and other lifestyle choices. All of his friends are straight, and almost all of them are women. All of my friends...

Get Social