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Savage Love: Unsatisfying orgasms and male sex work in Germany

I’m a 59-year-old man in good health. For basically my whole adult life, I’ve had this problem during intercourse with a woman of (1) being very quick to come and (2) having a too intense “cringey” sensation when I come. This has led to often going soft at the prospect of intercourse. This...

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What’s this kinkster gotta to do to get on the scene?

How does one get into the gay BDSM bottoming and leather scene?Seeking Answers Concerning Kink

One shows up, SACK.

“Eighty percent of success is just showing up,” someone or other once said. The adage applies to romantic/sexual...

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Les talk: Gay and bisexual women seek Savage advice

I am a 38-year-old lesbian, very femme, very out. I have a coworker I can’t figure out. We’ve worked together for a year and gotten very close. I never want to put out the wrong signals to coworkers, and I err on the side of keeping a safe but friendly distance. This is different. We are...

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I once had an incestuous relationship. Now my wife thinks I’m a monster

My father left my mother abruptly when I was 14 years old, and he hasn’t contacted either of us since. It was a crushing blow for her, and she retreated from the world. She was never bitter about it, but it was devastating. She lost the love of her life for no apparent reason and was left completely alone, except for me. We...

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Do vampires ejaculate blood?

I’m a professional dominatrix, and I thought I’d seen everything in the last five years. But this situation completely baffled the entire dungeon. This middle-aged guy, seemingly in fine health, booked an appointment with me and my colleague for one hour of some very light play and a...

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I’m a daddy. Does that make me a creepy old fool?

I’m a 67-year-old gay man. After a breakup 15 years ago, I believed the possibility of emotional and sexual intimacy with a partner was over for me. Then a couple of months ago, my desire for sexual contact increased dramatically. For the first time, I began using apps, and I felt like the...

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My flirty ex is a huge turn-on. Is that bad?

I married my high-school sweetheart at 17, had a baby, together a few years, mental illness and subsequent infidelity led to things ending. My ex-husband remarried, divorced again, and is now in another LTR. I’m in a LTR for a decade with my current partner (CP), we have a few kids, and...

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Because you asked, here’s some quick advice

I just read your reply to a woman who wrote to you regarding her partner’s lack of libido. Although I found the article somewhat interesting, I would have preferred that a woman who was an actual lesbian was rendering advice to other lesbians. As a man, you are not qualified to deal out...

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‘Why do I keep falling in love with lesbians?’ asked the straight guy

I am a 22-year-old Italian man, 100 percent straight, sensitive, and sporty. I have been reading Savage Love for years in Internazionale. I have one question for you: Why do I always fall in love with lesbians? Why do I instantly fall in love with girls who have that something more in...

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I used to love you, Savage. But now? Not so much

I used to be a fan of your column, Dan, but something happened to you. Maybe it’s stress, the current political climate, or some other issue – I don’t know. I used to look forward to your columns because they were fun, smart, and helpful – but I don’t enjoy what I’m seeing now. If...

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I didn’t sign up for a sexless relationship. What now?

I’m a straight man in a live-in relationship with a beautiful woman. There are no sparks in bed, and it’s been more than a year since we’ve had sex. She says, “I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested.” Sometimes she asks me if I’m disappointed, and I say something like “I miss sex.” And she...

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Is flirting, teasing, and humiliation – even in fantasy – OK?

I’m a twentysomething straight woman. About a month ago, I had a really vivid dream in which I was at a party and engaging with a guy I had just met. We were seriously flirting. Then my fiancé showed up – my real, flesh-and-blood, sleeping-next-to-me fiancé – who we’ll call G. In the...

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Love is in the air for some of you

ARIES (March 21 to April 19)This is a passionate, romantic week for lovers. On a more mundane level, you will feel generous toward others this week, especially if they need your help or support.

TAURUS (April 20 to May 20)All your relationships...

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