OK, here’s the deal. You’re never too old to dress up for Halloween — and you’re especially not too old for it when we’re in the middle of a pandemic that we all thought might be coming to an end just a few months ago. Le sigh. We’re so over it.
Anyway, not only are you never too old to dress up for Halloween, but you’re especially never too old to pay your respects to the almighty cannabis during this chilling time of the year. Maybe just call it Halloweed? Not Halloween at all! That’s right; Halloweed! October presents an especially fun opportunity to showcase your inner stoner, and we aren’t just talking about dressing up like Cheech and Chong or a dumb hippie — though you do you, boo, if that’s what you want to do. We’re still here for it either way.
The entire Super Troopers team
Looking for a freaking awesome group costume? May we suggest the stoner team of Super Troopers. You and your buddies can dress as those cult classics from Vermont and spend your nights repeating the words, “Littering and…” until the joke is so far from funny that nobody laughs.
Or, you can scream “Car RAMROD” really loud all night instead. Your choice. Just make sure you have a bag of fake weed with Johnny Chimpo’s perverted little face on it to lug around with you. And maybe a bottle of syrup. Anyone cooler than cool will know exactly who you are.
Good ol’ Willie Nelson
Listen. Willie is an unabashed lover of cannabis, enough to have his own cannabis line at your local dispensary, and he’s epically chill and loveable, too. So why not go as one of the coolest musicians on the planet this Halloween? All you have to do is find a bandana, a long-haired wig with braids, and a t-shirt to pull it off. Throw in a guitar and toss a blunt behind your ear and you’re golden (and instantly recognizable!).
Towelie
Is it even Colorado if someone isn’t dressed as stoner Towelie from South Park for Halloween? No. No it’s not.
If you want to pull of one epic Halloween costume this year, you may want to DIY your way into a Towelie costume, complete with bloodshot eyes and a joint in the mouth. All you need is some fabric, some fabric markers, and some glue to toss this one together, easy peasy. No sewing required.
A bag of weed
If you’re a lazy stoner, you may want to consider dressing up as a bag of weed. That’s right. A freaking bag of weed. What other stoners wouldn’t recognize what a good, old-fashioned dime bag of weed would look like? None that we know.
All you have to do is dig out a black turtleneck, some black pants, and get your art skills rolling — pun intended — to turn a foam board into a bag of weed.
Slap that puppy on, sandwichboard style, and get to rolling to the Halloween parties.
It’s a very Colorado thing for you to do.
Or, you can just take the easy way out and buy this darn thing on Amazon or something. There are actually quite a few options for bag of weed costumes on the evil retail giant, so take your pick.
A blunt or joint
Let’s get these go-to costumes out of the way first. Rolling up to a Halloween party dolled up as a blunt bursting with marijuana or a joint waiting to be toked (do not actually light yourself on fire, please) is about as classic stoner as it gets.
While this costume could always use a little more creativity to spice it up, it’s also perfect in its simplicity. How could you possibly send a louder message about your Halloween party priorities?
Chronic Man… dunna- nunna-nunna-nunna (however you hum the Batman theme song; we don’t know)
Feeling even lazier than a bag o’ weed? We have the perfect costume for you. Snag this dumb mask and you can go as a masked weed crusader. Just tell people you’re there to fight crime by smoking blunts all day. Your superpowers are a high THC tolerance and the ability to roll the FATTEST joints. Kinda like a mutant X-Men character, but with more Cheetos.
Jay and Silent Bob themselves
If you’re going to go as a weedthemed couples character this year, why not go as Jay and Silent Bob, two of the best, most adorable stoner characters to have ever been written?
Plus, it’s super easy. All you need is a trench coat, a beanie, a yellow jacket, and a backward ball cap to get the job done. Easiest costume ever, but also one of the most epic. Bonus points if you line your jacket with bags of fake weed and whip it open like you’re flashing at random points throughout the night.
Even more bonus points if you call and tell us where you are so we can watch the antics go down.
Poison Ivy, but with a twist
Poison Ivy is a pretty rad costume as is, but have you ever thought about switching those vines out for marijuana leaves?
If you pull a quick Google search of Poison Ivy costumes, you’ll get hundreds of results of people getting innovative with how to portray this infamous DC
Comics villain. Incorporating marijuana as your Poison Iv-, er, Poison Weedy get up would be a creative approach to not only showcasing your crafting and artistic skills, but also, your inner botanist for all things green.
Cannabis-friendly Captain Planet
We’ve covered dressing up as devilish DC Comics dames covered in green marijuana leaves, but we have yet to discuss dressing up as a superhero. We’ve chosen Captain Planet as our mascot for this one because of his love for keeping the Earth green. After all, who else is supposed to save our stoner-selves from the environmental peril we have found ourselves in? Well, OK, it’s supposed to be us, but let us imagine for a moment that it’s actually Captain Planet and he’s been sent by Gaia to save the world’s weed.
A marijuana medical professional
Medicinal marijuana services are an important part of the cannabis industry. As you may already know, marijuana can be used to help with ailments like anxiety, pain, and insomnia. In Colorado, qualifying medical marijuana conditions include HIV, cancer, autism, and seizures. Celebrate Halloween by dressing up as a sexy green nurse or a doctor donning medical instruments covered in marijuana leaves. Maybe you can even write a few prescriptions?
FAKE ONES, WE MEAN. Don’t @ us, all-knowing overseers of real doctors! We’re just kidding!
A weed chef
Food should be the center of every party, and what better than a weed chef costume to demonstrate that? Get yourself a green chef’s hat and apron and get to cooking! We promise your food/ weed-centric costume will be a hit, especially if you actually bring food with you to pass out at a party.
Who would say no to a delicious-looking brownie served by someone dressed as a weed chef?
As cannabis-infused foods made by professional chefs are slowly becoming more embraced by the mainstream stoner culture, why not give a little shout-out to the ones keeping us fed (and stoned).
Bluntman from Jay and Silent Bob
Any real stoner will recognize Bluntman from a mile away. That’s why it’s one of the best Halloweed costumes around, fools!
Some heroes fight crime with their super strength or lift things with their minds. Bluntman does none of these things, but he’s still awesome, and so are Jay and Silent Bob. To pay homage to one of the greatest stoner movies ever written with one of the greatest stoner costumes is so meta that we can’t stand it.
In other words, won’t somebody PLEASE dress as this so we can see them and die of happiness? Please?
