Conan tweets

by DGO Web Administrator

If you’re a classic rock fan, and an insufferable snob, your favorite band is The Whom.

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A lot of people want Ted Cruz to win, but are we ready for a President that’s a melting candle?

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Sorry you didn’t win Best Picture, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for “Best Documentary.”

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I was very flattered to hear Chris Rock is preparing for his Oscar gig by studying photo negatives from the night I hosted the BET Awards.

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There’s nothing like your wife not winning the Powerball and watching her unpack her suitcase.

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Fun party hosting tip: Put dozens of extra coats on the bed. When guests ask where everyone else is, laugh maniacally & change the subject.

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I know exactly how Tom Cruise feels in “Mission: Impossible” whenever I’m searching for my ringing phone in a pair of cargo pants.

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