Edible review: Keef Cola

by DGO Pufnstuf

So, last weekend I spent the majority of my time stoned, while camping, as it poured down rain. Oh, and there was some intermittent lightning and thunder thrown in for good measure. It was not how I envisioned spending my Saturday, but it wasn’t a total wash because I was reviewing Keef Cola for Prohibition Herb, and that sweet, sweet soda made the chilly rain and potential of being hit by lightning tolerable. Whoda thunk it?

Before you start rolling your eyes about how I should have known not to go camping when there was rain in the forecast, I’d like to point out that there’s basically always rain in the forecast right now and most of the time it’s a lie. So I figured it would be fine. I’d pack up some camping junk, fill the cooler with four different flavors of Keef Cola – grape, root beer, original cola, and orange crush, all of which have 10 mg of THC in them – and then head out into the wilderness to get stoned.

In hindsight, it was clearly the wrong move, but it felt like the right one at the time. Life is super boring right now (at least if you’re trying to stick to the suggested restrictions), and while I’m not a huge outdoors person, camping seemed like a way to get out of the house, encounter some new scenery, and maybe even find a good head space while chugging some THC-filled soda. Only one of those three things happened: I chugged some THC-filled soda courtesy of Keef Cola.

Luckily, every flavor was delicious, but you likely already know that, as Keef Cola has been around for a minute. If you haven’t picked up a can in a while, it might be well worth your time, though, cause anything that can make me slap-happy in the midst of a storm is worth the $9 or so.

And it did make me happy, at least temporarily. I’d headed up to Molas Lake late Saturday afternoon with my Keef Cola, and as soon as I got there it started pouring. Not raining – freaking pouring. Lightning was illuminating the sky every few minutes and thunder was crashing so loudly up at that elevation. The tent wasn’t even pitched at that point, so me and the friend I went with were stuck sitting in the car to wait it out.

Only problem was that we couldn’t wait it out cause the rain would not stop. So rather than get annoyed at the late departure, we decided to crack open some Keef soda instead. (Don’t worry. The keys were NOT in the ignition.) It was a smart move – not only were we parched, but we were also stone cold sober, which is not a great feeling when you’re trapped in a car full of camping junk but you can’t even safely step foot out of the car.

So, rather than drink them in the tent, we chugged them in the car instead. I’m a big ol’ baby about edibles, so I expected to be super high after I downed that drink – which only had a hint of a weed-y taste, by the way – but I was pleasantly surprised to find that while the high kicked in, it was completely tolerable. Rather than be high out of my gourd, I was pleasantly, mellowly stoned instead.

And so was my camping partner, who is not a regular imbiber at all. He popped open the root beer Keef Cola and chugged it, and I could only tell he was high because of his incessant laughter, which started about 10 minutes after he’d finished his drink. We were both stoned, but not out of control. It was rad.

Well, except for the whole stuck in a car part. That part sucked. But the Keef Cola flavors and high were rad! The only downside was that we knew the tent still needed to go up at some point, but we did manage to tackle it while stoned during a brief pause in the rain.

Do I suggest you go camping in the middle of a stupid thunderstorm? No, I do not. That is the same thunderstorm that set fire to Mancos. Do I suggest you pick up some Keef Cola? Hell. Yeah. This stoner soda made life tolerable while camping in the midst of the rainstorm. That right there is pure canned magic.

DGO Pufnstuf

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