Edible review: Sweet Mary Jane horchata cookies

by Sir Blaze Ridcully

Have you ever been so intoxicated with how delicious an edible is that you actually forget you’re eating an edible? And then tried to smoke your couch? Well, dear readers, this is exactly what happened to this pothead one evening.

Let me explain.

I’m always on the lookout for new edibles to munch on and the more creative marijuana companies get with making tasty treats that will get me stoned, the more I go all in. This is exactly what happened when I discovered Sweet Mary Jane’s horchata cookies at my local dispensary. The Colorado-made edibles were baked (HA) in Boulder, so not only was I going to get stoned but I was also supporting a Colorado business. I believe the scientific term for that is win-win.

These horchata cookies are a delicious concoction of cajeta, vanilla, and cinnamon. There’s no weedy aftertaste, so it feels like you’re just munching on a bag of cookies from old gran-gran.

I popped in (more like devoured, but whatever) on a rainy weekday after work. With gloomy, overcast skies overhead, nothing felt more appropriate than eating a cinnamon and weed laced cookie.

It had a strangely comforting effect. They were the perfect antidote to a day of being trapped indoors. I had tried all of one time to go outside that day (hoping that the rain would let up) and halfway through my walk, I found myself drenched and running back to my apartment. This cookie was the next best thing to drinking a delicious glass of horchata.

The high was quick to settle in. Like eating the cookies, this edible had a very calming effect on me. I ended up splitting up the edible throughout the day to maintain the chill high I had going. Each cookie contains 10 mg of THC and the bag comes with 10 edibles.

As I’d gone the sativa route with these cookies, my brain emitted a relaxing buzz. No, I was not inspired to actually take advantage of this head hum energy, but I did video chat with a friend who was also stoned off their ass. The best part of it was that I never had to even leave my couch which was probably for the best, because the cannabis that had seeped into my brain waves was telling me that I should probably just never get off my ass — ever.

It was, uh, not a fruitful conversation as I was an entire edible in and my friend was toking on a vape pen. It was a lot of trailing off mid-sentence and full-on forgetting what we were talking about. At one point, I decided it was a fantastic idea to get even more stoned by smoking a bowl.

As weed doesn’t really make me the smartest cookie (dad joke for the win), I tried balancing my pipe on my leg and ended up dumping the contents all over my couch. As these are dire times, however, I did not let this get in my way. I proceeded to spend the next five minutes picking up every tiny piece of bud and putting it back in my bowl. Then I had to spend the next ten minutes picking out all the couch fibers from my pipe. In conclusion, I definitely smoked part of my couch that evening and I have Sweet Mary Jane to thank for my stupidity.

If you’re no good at baking and are looking for an alternative to gummies, Sweet Mary Jane’s horchata cookies might be exactly what you’re looking for. It offers a real pleasant high that will not only relax you, but chill you the eff out to the point where even smoking up your couch sounds like a good idea.

Sir Blaze Ridcully

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