Looking for love? Have an attention span of five minutes or less? Speed dating is coming to Durango, so we asked Cindy Fisher and Sharon Hermes of Four Corners Expo and the event organizers for next Wednesday’s Love on the Run event at Four Leaves Winery, about what to expect.
What prompted trying this in Durango?
I thought it would be something fun, simple for us to do, and something that would be neat in commit-o-phobe Durango.
What’s the response been like?
Men have been a little slower to sign up, as you can imagine. They probably think they can just show up the day of.
How does it work, exactly?
There’ll be wine, hors d’oeuvres and a little light mingling before. Then we’ll give each of the people who come a card with some prompting questions. We’ll encourage them to have their own questions, too. The ladies will be seated, and the men will have five minutes at each table. Five minutes for each person to figure out if the person sitting across from them is somebody they want to date, or even see again.
So, musical tables …
For the men, anyway.
What sort of questions will you be providing?
They won’t be too in-depth. Nothing like “What’s your yearly income?” or “How many people have you slept with?” More general information. “What are your hobbies?”, “What sports do you like?”, “What’s your favorite season?” You know, just getting a conversation started.
Is it that difficult to meet someone in Durango?
It can be. For both men and women, walking up to someone in a bar or some other place is sort of scary. You don’t know if they’re single or if they’re looking – it kinds of takes away some of the pressure, because everyone’s in the same boat. ’Cause finding out that the person you got up the guts to talk to at the coffee shop has been married for the past five years is no fun.
What can two people really learn in five minutes?
I think, to a degree, you can get an idea of – you know, from their body language and whatnot – if they’re nervous or calm, if they’re outgoing or a little shy. I think you can tell a lot that way. At least as much as you’d get from asking questions. You know, how they look, how they talk, how they act – that sort of thing.
What sorts of questions should speed daters prepare?
I suppose you could ask someone what their sign is, if you wanted. It’s cliché, but it matters to some people. Ask about fun. Do they bike or fish or read or cook? Find some shared interests.
And what shouldn’t they ask?
Like I said, I wouldn’t ask about more specific things or talk about specific information. I wouldn’t tell someone where I lived, for example, in case they turn out to be a stalker or something. I wouldn’t ask about how many sexual partners someone has had. Anything you wouldn’t ask someone upon first meeting them, you wouldn’t ask here.
What should the men bring to the table?
An open mind, I think. Be ready with questions and be ready to listen. It’s so quick – five minutes! It’s almost nothing. Also, try. Don’t show up in Chacos. Look nice. Maybe shave; a little deodorant doesn’t hurt. You don’t want to give someone an impression of who you’re not, because then it’ll never work. It’s kind of like a job interview. Be clean, look nice and presentable, maybe just a few steps above what you would normally do.
And the women?
Again, an open mind. Don’t be shy. Have your questions ready, but also give them a chance to get some questions out, too. Give and take.
So everyone meets everyone, and then what?
We’ll have a type of scorecard where they can keep track of people they’ve talked to and mark a like or not like. In the end, it has to be mutual. If she says she likes a guy, he has to say he liked her, and then we’ll exchange their information. But, there’s nothing that says that if a woman likes a guy that she can’t, you know, follow him out the door and say, “Hey, enjoyed meeting you!” Sort of a *wink wink, hint hint*.
What’s the best case outcome for the evening?
I can’t imagine everyone’s going to find someone, but if one or two found someone they could date, that’d be great! Maybe a friendship or a funny story. Maybe if they don’t find someone there, someone they met might say, “Well, not me, but you’re perfect for my brother or my cousin or roommate.” That’d be good.
And the worst?
People don’t enjoy themselves; no one connects with anyone. Lots of silence. We want it to be fun, nothing too serious.
What’s been most surprising about putting this all together?
I was surprised to find that I got some response from the much older crowd. I figured this would attract mostly 20- and 30-somethings, but I’ve heard from the much older as well as the middle-aged. I guess we’ll have to do it again!
Cyle Talley just wants it to be warm already. Ugh. If there’s anything you’d like to Get Smart about, email him at: [email protected]
