High-Ass Recipes: Baked to perfection

by DGO Web Administrator

To make this high-ass recipe, you’ll need some basic ingredients and opposable, lighter-flickin’ thumbs. These bakey cinnamon, apple and oats are wholesome, wintry vitlins that’ll satisfy your anytime-snacking needs, a serious dessert fix whilst giving you a perfectly delicious and moderately healthy breakfast treat.

What you need:

3 cups of rolled oats

1-2 diced apples

1 tsp of cinnamon

½ cup of raisins

½ cup of chopped walnuts or slivered almonds

½ tsp of salt

½ stick of butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/3 cup of honey (or maple syrup)

1 can of coconut cream (for glopping on top later)

(Note) If you’re a helpless, sugar-loving bastard like me, you can add more honey, maple syrup or straight-up white or brown sugar to taste.


Toss the oats, diced apples, cinnamon, raisins, nuts and salt into a large bowl. Mix it all up with great enthusiasm, because it’s going to taste bloody amazing when it’s done. Grease up a pan with butter or coconut cooking spray and heat the oven to 300°F. Melt the butter. Add the melted butter, vanilla extract and honey into a separate bowl. Once you’ve mixed the melted butter, vanilla and honey, pour that buttery elixir into the bowl of dry ingredients and mix that shit up, making sure every single solitary oat flake and apple dice is perfectly covered in divine butter-spice-sweetness. Be sure to resist the desire to abandon the recipe altogether to eat this sweet component for the rest of the night. Spread the sticky mixture into an even layer on the pan and bake for 15-20 minutes. Once it begins turning goldenish brownish, stir, and continue baking for another 5 to 10 minutes. When it’s reached toasted perfection, remove the pan and let sit 5 to 10 minutes. Scoop into a bowl, drop a flabby dollop of fatty coconut cream on top, and eat to your high-ass heart’s content.

Serves 2-4

— Chef High Guy


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