Love it or hate it: Bicycling

by David Holub

Love itI’ve had some kind of bike ever since I could remember: Tricycle, training wheels, dirt bike, mountain bike. But biking was always for recreation and almost always involved roads. I’d rather get my exercise another way.

And then I moved to Durango and bought a commuter bike. Suddenly, biking wasn’t just for fun, it was to get places. Somehow, this changed everything, like I’d plopped into some romantic European dream.

Biking to work, or to hang out with friends, or to get groceries becomes thrilling; I alone am the sole engine. I love the work required and the questions bike commuting raises: Do I really need to pedal all that way for a doughnut right now? (I did, by the way.)

Because of biking, I now know that deer have a 10-foot radius of stench. And that riding past apartment complexes, I always catch the aromas of marijuana use.

I love riding next to the train on the river trail and tripping that 25 mph speed-monitoring sign doing 28 riding down College at 3 a.m. I love biking because it allows me to see my community up close in a way that I just can’t when I’m driving in an enclosed glass case with my music on or in silence removed from everything.

Biking gives my commute a sense of purpose, makes me feel good – about my lungs, my legs, and my town.

— David HolubHate ItDid you know that bears are more likely to attack you if you are on a bicycle? Also, riding a bicycle leads to chafing warts on your thighs. Those growths will shed off your body and form gremlins that will steal your debit card and pee acid all over your couch. If that weren’t terrifying enough, it’s long been believed that the 666th time that you ride your bike to work, you summon not the Devil, but a lesser demon. This hellion will steal your bike, morph it into its body, quadruple in size, then ride itself through your town – dripping stink and farting – eating everyone in its path.

OK. OK. That’s all a fat pack of lies.

But I mean, that’s what I tell myself so that I don’t feel bad that I hate bicycling. There is no good reason for disliking it. I just would much rather be sitting on my couch or near a shade tree reading a book.

Have fun on your bike. I’ll be nerding out at home.

Patty Templeton


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