Love it or hate it: Snow

by Patty Templeton

Love “Snow. SNOW. SNOWWWWWWWW!” I don’t know if you can hear it through the print, but I sang you the opening lines of the snow song from the train scene of “White Christmas,” which stars Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney, but who gives a shit about them when it also stars DANNY KAYE who was such a GD LANKY DREAMBOAT that I might have to gravedig his bones and set up a creeper lust altar somewhere secret.

But really, would Danny Kaye be as hot as he was if he didn’t sing to me about snow? Probably, but that’s beside the point. Right now, we’re talkin’ snow. I love it. The first snow of the season is MAGIC. Looking out of your window to see the world as a white, frozen sheet of calm is MAGIC. Having gianormo fluffy snowflakes fluttering down and getting stuck in your eyelashes is … wait for it … MAGIC.

Snow makes winter picture-perfect worth it. If it’s gonna be cold as Finnegan’s feet the day they buried him, the least it can do is look pretty.

— Patty TempletonHate itThe people screaming and pleading to the sky these days, their bellows of “Let it snow,” are likely doing so not because they want to look at it from the warm, dry confines of inside, but because they feel this need to go do stuff in it. Which, you know, good for them.

Where some see this fluffy frozen water as something to slide planks and boards across, I see it as something my car and feet will slip upon. Which is why I think snow is great … as long as I’m either inside with no place to go, or outside with no place to go. The “not going places” is key.

Which brings me to the song. When they say “Let it Snow,” it’s understandable: They have a delightful fire, they have corn for popping. Even the lights are turned down low. So yeah, by all means, let it snow. Just let me work from home.

David Holub


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