Strain review: Birthday Cake

by DGO Pufnstuf

I grew up in a pretty darn conservative household, and as a teenager, everything fun was off limits – especially (gasp) early era MTV and HBO. But, being the rebel without a cause that I am, I used to skirt around said restrictions by plugging the cord to the massive old satellite into the beat up old tube TV in my bedroom after my mom fell asleep. (There is a point to this story and it involves weed. Stay with me.)

One of those nights, I found a fascinating documentary about ladies of the night that I THOUGHT was an episode of HBO’s Real Sex, and I knew I wanted to watch it again. The only problem was that I had no idea what the hell the episode was, other than it was about sex workers, and I straight could not find it.

Over the years, I have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to dig up that ONE EPISODE. Well, it turns out the reason I couldn’t find it was because it wasn’t Real Sex; it was a documentary called “Hookers at the Point.” How do I know this, you ask? Well, I FOUND IT the night I smoked Birthday Cake, the strain we’re reviewing this week from Prohibition Herb. LOOK AT ME NOW, MA.

Anyway, let’s discuss Birthday Cake. This strain is a hybrid created by crossing two killer strains: GSC (the strain formerly known as Girl Scout Cookies) and Cherry Pie. You cannot go wrong with either of them, and you can’t go wrong with their offspring, Birthday Cake, either. This strain’s effects are freakin’ fascinating, just like my old-ass documentary.

I smoked Birthday Cake with a friend one random Saturday afternoon. We lit up the pipe and chatted about how good this strain smells and tastes – kinda sweet and herbal, but not harsh in any way – and then I flipped on, you guessed it, “Hookers at the Point,” which a stoned bout of Googling had FINALLY led me to. I knew right after it started that this was the right one. We both sat there glued to the TV, mouths agape, with clear heads and a slight case of the giggles. But as I watched those women tell their stories, I felt myself sinking into that stoned hole of relaxation, and in turn, further into my own head.

And then, nothing. Things go blank. The next thing I remember, someone is standing over me saying, “Holy shit. You really crashed out.” I looked across the couch and the friend I’d smoked with was also passed out, and could not be roused for anything. Turns out we made it through all of like 15 minutes of the damn documentary before passing the eff out like little babies. I don’t even remember my eyes getting heavy. It was basically, “awake, awake, awake, awake, fascinated/slightly horrified, and then dead to the world.”

We retested Birthday Cake again a few days later just to be sure, and again, things started off clear-headed, delved into hungry territory, and then the sleepy-time feels kicked in. Out we went, like stoned little lights.

Those are all good things, except maybe sleeping through the one documentary I’ve been dying to watch. So, if you want to chill the hell out to the point where ain’t nothin’ gettin’ in your way, Birthday Cake is for you. And as a bonus, you’ll be wide awake long enough that you can fill your belly with snacks before you enter a weed tomb. Just make sure you flip on something boring, or at least DVR what you’re watching first, cause you ain’t makin’ it to the end. You just aren’t.

DGO Pufnstuf


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