Strain review: Lemon Train Pho Wax from The Green House

by DGO Pufnstuf

The inside of the box that holds Craft’s Lemon Train Pho Wax has a tab that says “Happy dabbing!” and it’s so freaking fitting. If you dab this wax, which we’re reviewing for The Green House this week, you don’t have a choice but to be happy, cause it’s freaking rad.

I’ve reviewed Lemon Train flower before and loved it, but I hadn’t gotten my hands on the extract version until this week when our friends at the Green House handed the tiny little Craft box to me. What I found inside was an amped up version of the flower I loved … and I do mean amped.

I’m getting ahead of myself, though. Let’s talk about what Lemon Train Pho Wax is first. So, Lemon Train Pho Wax is a strong ass – we’re talking 73.41% THC – concentrate that’s basically all sativa. This strain is a cross between Lemon Diesel and Trainwreck, and man, can you tell. It is very, very lemon-scented.

I was basically punched in the face (in a good way!) by the overpowering smell of lemons when I opened the tiny container that held the wax. And, as soon as I stuck my dab pen into the little puddle of concentrate, it unleashed the citrus beast. I could taste it. I could smell it. I was basically inhaling lemon juice. Hell yes.

I took a couple of good hits and the lemon burst gave way to another punch in the face, this time by the hyper stoned monster. Holy shit is this stuff racy. As soon as it hit me I was amped up and ready to go, despite the fact that it was like, 10 p.m. on a freaking weeknight. My eyes felt like they were being held up by toothpicks – they were dry, wide, and basically everything you don’t want them to be at a time when you should be winding down. (Keep in mind that I did it to myself. Don’t let that turn you off of this wax.) I was ready to go, man.

I tackled EVERYTHING I’d been putting off for the last two months. I moved recently and have been living out of boxes, or HAD been, anyway, because Lemon Train gave me a lift to the land of productivity, and I unpacked those stupid boxes with the quickness. I didn’t just dump them on the floor out of frustration, either, which I’d been tempted to do every time I’d walked past them. Nope. I neatly took out the crap I’d half-assedly shoved into them and put it away where it’s supposed to go. On hangers, even!

But I didn’t stop there. I also vacuumed, mopped, and dumped a bunch of questionable vegetables in the trash that had been hiding out in the fridge. Productivity doesn’t begin to describe it. I was a freakin’ machine, man.

There was one slip-up, though, as is usually the case after I ingest or smoke anything with THC in it. So, in my haste, a friend texted me to ask how things were going, and I texted them back, fingers whirring on the stupid iPhone screen, and said things were fine and asked them how their day was in return. Only I didn’t actually type day. My stupid keyboard autocorrected day to fat, so my text read, and I quote, “How’s your fat going?” Yes, it was a woman on the other end. No, I am not proud of my actions. Blame it on the Lemon Train energy boost. Even worse is that I didn’t notice until she replied with, “Still fat,” much to my confusion. Next time I smoke a little Lemon Train I’ll actually read what I’m texting before sending it.

So, yeah. Lemon Train Pho Wax sent me on a journey to unbox all my shit at an hour near midnight and I accidentally asked a friend how their fat was. All in all, I’d call that a good run.

DGO Pufnstuf

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