Working from home

by David Holub

Love itAs much as I like the social aspects and interactions of working in an office, I find that they’re often so alluring to the point of distraction. Not to mention hearing the incessant ringtones of multiple phones, overhearing loud how-was-your-weekend conversations. At home, it’s just one big window looking out to a forest.

At home I don’t have to get dressed, I can unplug the headphones, and I can openly sing aloud whenever I please (and not get the looks I get when I do the same in the office). The chances of being barraged by unanticipated tasks or spur-of-the-moment requests go down drastically when I work at home.

At home there is never the awkwardness (and the avoidance of) that guides most of my actions at work. No awkward small talk in the bathroom, no awkward small talk getting coffee in the break room, no obligatory hellos or goodbyes, no working up cheerful smiles.

Perhaps above all, working from home demonstrates just how important all those in-person meetings really are.

— David HolubHate It I have an extreme amount of focus. I can get damn near anything done that I want done – except when I can’t, which usually means I am at home. At home, I’m like, “Hey, bed. Let’s nap,” or “I can’t write until I clean my desk,” or “SNACKS!” or “Technically, watching ‘Deadwood’ is work because it improves my dialogue writing,” or “I wonder if the universe has a picture of Davey Havok petting a quokka?” (It doesn’t. Internet fix this or, better yet, Mr. Havok, please hang out with a quokka and Insta the experience.)

Don’t get me wrong. I love not being in a fluorescent-lit office to write, but home is too comfy-cozy. The only mega perk I can think of about writing/working from home is that I can surround myself with a Danzigian amount of candles. M-effin ambiance is killer at home. Too bad I then get up to piss, make tea, do pushups against the kitchen counter, or get disappointed by googling “Alien Sex Fiend tour” and seeing no gigs pop up.

At about the 13th self-interruption, I shuffle to the library or go to a coffee shop. I’m too Chicago to pace, whiz, fiddle about, or otherwise leave my laptop alone in a public setting, so my ass is chaired and I’m getting a solid stack of work sorted.

Working from home? F that s. There’s too many poets to read and banana bread to bake there.

— Patty Templeton

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