Prohibition Herb keeps rolling out the new strains, and we get to keep trying them. No, this is not the worst job on Earth.
As you may have guessed by my very short intro, this week we are reviewing a new strain from Prohibition called Juice Man. If you aren’t familiar with this strain, please allow me school you. So, Juice Man is an indica hybrid that’s a cross between the Fabuloso and Papaya strains, and it’s new on the floor at this dispensary.
I grabbed a sample of Juice Man (which my brain keeps autocorrecting to Jumpman; thanks Drake) on a random weeknight and hauled ass home to try it out. I’m pretty sensitive to indicas – as in they usually cause major couch lock and uncooperative limbs – but the indicas Prohibition has rolled out recently have been great for my weak ass stoner mind, so I was pretty excited to try this one.
The first thing I noticed when I popped off the lid was that this strain smelled sweet and citrus-y, which makes sense given its lineage. No skunk to be found in this one. The nugs were small and dense, and they lit up quite nicely. First inhale I choked, second inhale I choked, and it stayed that way each time I took a hit until the bowl was cashed. This stuff is harsh, which I wasn’t expecting from a strain that smells like fruity candy, so take that as a fair warning if you’re also a pansy.
By the time the bowl was cashed, I was high as an actual kite. The funny thing was, though, that I was convinced that I WASN’T that high, so I wrote down that I was “middle ground stoned” and “halfway up the stairs to stoned tower.” I know that’s a damn lie, though, because I specifically recall trying to type notes into my phone but being completely unable do it. My fingers would. not. cooperate. I had to keep deleting and retyping the words to create sentences that made sense.
Even stranger than being convinced I was only “middle ground stoned” was the fact that although this is an indica hybrid, it didn’t make me sleepy at first. The sativa properties kicked me into fifth gear, and Juice Man had me sitting on the couch, awake and stoned … but convinced I wasn’t that stoned.
Oh, and because I thought I wasn’t that stoned, I decided it was a good idea to be super chatty to anyone who would listen. I have no idea what I was rambling on about, but at some point I texted a friend and said, “Hey, some dude tried to bring you a meme at work today but you weren’t there and it was sad.” What that means, I don’t know, but it was said and now it’s out there in the world. Yolo or something.
And, after I talked the literal ears off anyone who would listen, I did what I always do with indicas and passed the hell out. I woke up at some point and ate a bunch of freaking cream puffs that were leftover from Thanksgiving, but I was definitely in a serious weed daze when I did it. I passed back out right after, by the way, and slept til my alarm went off the next morning. The sleep force is strong with Juice Man.
It was a fun ride, Juice Man, between the burst of energy, passing out, and the mid-sleep munchies, so I guess I can forgive it of its choking sins. If you’re looking for a strain that will make you talk nonsense, text people weird things, and then pass out, Juice Man is for you. I highly recommend it.
DGO Pufnstuf
