Masturbation is good for the soul.
Too much?
Well, if masturbation isn’t good for the soul it is good for your health. Unless you are brand new to this column then you know I regularly sing the praises of masturbation. The release of feel-good chemicals from touch, stimulation, and orgasm flood a body. Science tells us that the hits of dopamine, oxytocin, and other neurochemicals we receive during sexual pleasure are also the same chemicals we get when we are happy. These chemicals are associated with lower blood pressure, pain reduction, and positive feelings like motivation, empathy, and heyyyyyyyyy, arousal.
Everything in moderation, y’all. There is no need to masturbate to excess and turn pleasure into an addiction.
Let’s instead focus on tools that can help enhance masturbation. This iteration of “Sex Toys for You” is directed at penis owners!
SleevesThe masturbation sex toy for penis owners that most often comes up first is a sleeve. Sleeves come in a variety of sizes, textures, and some even have extra whiz bangs!
Some are simple tubes that may or may not have texture on the inside for extra stimulation. These are really to enhance the use of your hand. Others have lips—mouth or vulva lips—at the opening with a suction-enhanced interior for extra pressure while you stroke or thrust.
There are now sleeves that vibrate with the touch of a button or the next level up where you control the vibrations, pressure, etc. with your smartphone. The more expensive models keep track of your settings and can repeat your favorites or offer up a new experience every time.
Cock ringsThese toys are meant to go around the base of the penis and the scrotum. They help to trap the blood in the penis during an erection helping to maintain an erection for a bit longer (minutes). Some cock rings are super stretchy and others are made of steel with options of rigidity in-between those two. You should put a cock ring on before the penis is fully erect and definitely put lube on the rings made of jelly or silicone so that they don’t rip out your pubic hair when you are removing them.
Ouch!
You can find longer cock rings that cover the penis from the base and part way up the shaft. They can create extra pressure and stimulation during fellatio or a hand job. There are also cock rings that vibrate from one speed to multiple speeds and a variety of vibration settings. Vibrating cock rings are also great for use with lovers.
Prostate massagerYep. This is a sex toy that is inserted into your anus with the express purpose of stimulating your prostate. These dildos or vibrators have a specific curve meant to get to the right spot for maximum pleasure.
Don’t forget the lube!
If you are new to anal play, please start small and work your way up. The anus is delicate and fragile. You need to do some training so that your body doesn’t get hurt and so that you can actually enjoy yourself. You can never use too much lube and there are many types of prostate massagers so you can find a thin one to start with then work you way up to larger models.
Anal toysWait? Didn’t I just talk about anal play?
As I stated prostate massagers have a specific purpose, stimulating your prostate. The anus loves other types of stimulation and play! Butt plugs and anal beads (regular or vibrating) can enhance penile orgasms by creating a sense of feeling full or placing pressure on nerve endings. Anal beads are meant to be pulled out at the beginning of an orgasm to add extra sensations.
These toys also need to be smaller when you are just starting out and should be used with lots of lube. Lube helps to protect the thinner skin that is in and around the anus. Tears in the skin are not sexy, fun, or healthy! LUBE!
Speaking of lubeYou have options on what you can use on your body when it comes to lube.
Water-based lube
Silicone lube
Oil-based lube
Plant-based lube
For anal play oil-based lube is your best bet—extra slick and long lasting. However, latex and oil don’t mix so if you need to use condoms or you have latex toys I suggest switching to silicone lube. With one other caveat, silicone lube and silicone toys don’t mix, either. So with silicone toys use oil-based lube.
If you want to stick to water-based or plant-based lubes plan on reapplying frequently.
So many ways to up your masturbation game!
If you have questions that I didn’t answer here, you can always Buy Me A Coffee and sign up for a Sex Coaching Quickie (www.buymeacoffee.com/positivesexed). Not everyone needs a full hour with a sex coach to get answers. A quickie is up to 30 minutes long for $25—a screaming deal.
Erin Brandt (she/her/hers) has been a sexologist for 15 years. When she’s not spreading sexual knowledge, Erin can be found learning from her child, hiking with her partner, cuddling with her pitbull, knitting with her cat, dancing with friends, and searching for the nearest hammock and ocean breeze. Want more? Visit www.positivesexed.com
