Y’all. The quarantine 15 is real and edibles like Northern Standard Telluride tiramisu aren’t helping. In fact, judging by how much COVID-19 is rising, soon enough it’ll be the quarantine 115.
In any case, you’re not here to listen to me bemoan the inhumane amount of munchies I’ve been shoving down my pie hole. You’re here for Northern Standard chocolate edibles, which I highly recommend.
I came across these chocolates in a local dispensary and being as I am a chocolate (and tiramisu) fiend, I knew I had to have it as soon as I laid eyes on it.
Northern Standard is a cannabis extracts company based in Alma, a town nestled between the Pike, San Isabelle, and White River national forests. Their brand shelves range from live resin and CO2 distillate to gummies and chocolates. The company is even a second-place THC Championship winner for their campfire s’mores chocolate bar (which I’m definitely trying next).
Telluride tiramisu is about as close as you’re going to get to real tiramisu via chocolate bar edible. It’s an effing delicious concoction of white chocolate and coffee. Each bar comes with 10 pieces containing 10 mg of THC each. Sign me up any day, any time.
Thanks to COVID-19, there’s really not many activities to do around here other than stare at screens. I’m running a pretty tight ship around my home so most of my activities revolve around staring at a small screen, then a medium-sized screen, then a large screen.
Instead of doing my normal high routine of staring at the TV screen watching the Belcher family run a restaurant on “Bob’s Burgers,” I decided to play video games to the best of my stoned abilities (which are not great).
I’m not a fantastic video game player sober, so imagine an already subpar gamer experiencing a “Pink Elephants” level of high trying to solve a puzzle or getting scared out of their mind by a creepy monster I’m STILL convinced lives in my house somewhere.
Let me tell you — my controller was chucked across the room. Not because I was rage quitting, mind you, but mostly out of sheer terror. As I’m sure you know, dear readers, everything is significantly more terrifying and confusing when you’re stoned.
It wasn’t long, however, before the munchies settled in. Like I said, there’s really no mystery as to why I’ve gained the quarantine 15. My stomach turned into an actual black hole in which no amount of food could quench its hunger. Cannabis is both my friend and my enemy.
Northern Standard Telluride tiramisu is another chocolate candy bar edible win in my book. It’s delicious, unique, and hits the stoner spot. Your scale might not thank you, but your brain sure will.
Sir Blaze Ridcully
