High Ass Recipe: California Toast

by Jaime Becktel

Growing up in California I was a fat, glossy, lucky little child with a large avocado orchard at my disposal. I grew into a fat, glossy, lucky little teenager who developed a stoner recipe so simple and so delicious it’s just plain stupid. I’m sure we can all agree to the fact that avocados are positively danktastic. Add one to a piece of toast with some melted cheese and you’re high ass is going interstellar.

What you need:

1 perfectly ripe avocado

2 slices of bread (any bread will do, but sourdough, rye and squaw comprise the holy trinity of California toast optimization)

2 slices of cheese (provolone, Swiss and Havarti are my dream team)

¼ tsp black pepper (Fresh cracked pepper is obviously superior)

¼ tsp salt (Course grain sea salt is really what’s up)

Note: If you happen to have some bacon kicking around, or perhaps a live pig you might slaughter and slice into small, fry-able little niblets, go ahead and do that.


Set your oven to High Broil and place the rack in the central position. Broil the toast slightly, and by slightly I mean keep a close eye on that shit so it don’t burn to all hell. Place a piece of cheese on each slice of bread and return to the oven until perfectly melted. Again, don’t let your stoner-ass get distracted and incinerate your delicious snack! Pull out the toasted cheesy bread, slather on mashed-up avo, sprinkle with pepper, salt and bacon niblets. Give thanks to the Baby King and shove that Cali toast into your fat, glossy, lucky face.

Serves 1

— Jaime BecktelGot a go-to-high-ass recipe? Send it to [email protected]


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