Earlier this week, I had some of the best sleep I’ve had in five-ever. (That’s one more than forever for you noobs.) As a chronic insomniac, the days of sleeping through the night are few and far between, and I refuse to take Ambien after one very disconcerting sleep-driving incident. I have come to accept my fate, and the feeling of always dragging ass, all day, e’ry day, but this week, that horrible curse was broken.
How, you ask? Oh, just a little strain called Night Nurse, which we happened to be reviewing from Pagosa Therapeutics.
If you’re unfamiliar with this strain, here are the deets. It’s a straight indica containing between 16 and 17 percent THC, and it smells like pine needle heaven. Not a bit o’ skunk in this container. Just sweet, flowery pine. It smells like autumn, for real, for real.
As I’ve said a metric shit ton of times before in this column, I try to steer clear of straight up indicas because the body high does not do a body (err, this body) good. But it’s important to live life on the edge, or at least review a variety of strains, because otherwise you get stagnant and your weed cupboard fills up with sativas. So, being the team player and hater of stagnancy that I am, I agreed to review Night Nurse.
It was a smart move, you guys. This strain is a good stare-at-the-TV-and-relax type of strain, the type that lures you into the caverns of total relaxation without warning. The kind that convinces you it’s not worth getting up to get a bowl of ice cream, even though it sounds so very delicious, and then injects you with some sort of witchy sleeping potion and you’re out for 10 hours straight and late to work the next morning.
I smoked a bowl of Night Nurse on a Sunday night, and I was pretty darn surprised at how mellow the smoke was, even when I inhaled a little too deeply. No coughing, no choking, and no weird singed aftertaste, either.
And, as is par for the course with Pagosa Therapeutics’ strains, Night Nurse was hella freaking strong, even if it didn’t taste like it. Not long into one freaking bowl, I was feeling high as a kite. The effects trickled in after just a few hits and things only intensified over the next 15 minutes or so. My head was high, my body was kinda high, and my brain was high and chill, but I somehow didn’t feel an ounce of couch lock. I COULD have gotten off the couch. I just didn’t want to. No need to move a muscle, even for snacks. I also had cottonmouth like crazy, but I was too relaxed/lazy/apathetic to get up and resolve it.
And, once I laid down, I was completely and totally dunzo. I laid face-down on the pillow, and then everything went black. I didn’t stir at ALL overnight (that I remember, anyway), and I woke up the next morning with no idea as to how it was already sunny outside. I felt like the clock had somehow jumped from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. without warning. Turns out that’s just what sleeping feels like. Go figure.
Would I smoke this strain during the daytime? Only if I wanted to be dead to the world or ignore the people (and what I mean by that is family) blowing up my phone. But I WOULD smoke the shit out of this stuff at night. And you should too. The bags under your eyes will thank you.