Strain review: Fainting Goat

by DGO Pufnstuf

What images do you conjure up when you read the words “Fainting Goat,” the name of this week’s strain from Pagosa Therapeutics? Do you imagine a sea of tiny goats all getting the vapors at once and flopping over dramatically? Yeah, me too. But, let me tell you, that is not accurate.

This strain’s name is a bit of a misnomer, because with Fainting Goat, there is no passing out. There are no goats. In fact, this here strain just leads to things like bursts of euphoria and a kick of motivation. Confusing, I know.

But also great. This strain, a sativa hybrid, was created by crossing Golden Goat, a sativa strain that, for me, is super racy and happy, and Durban Poison, a pure sativa that’s one of my all time favorites. So, needless to say, the combo of the two very good strains was pretty darn enticing to me.

And for good reason. I freaking loved it. I was sold from the moment I popped the lid off of the container. This bud is huge – I’m talking big, beautiful weed huge, with nugs that stretch into the oversized category – and the smell. You guys, it’s pretty heavenly. Golden Goat smells baller, like a fruity syrup, and, well, Durban Poison can do no wrong in my book. Somehow, Fainting Goat somehow got the best of both worlds. It smells a bit spicy, a bit musty, and really sweet. Sounds awful, I know, but somehow, that combo works.

And it works for the effects, too. If you’ve ever glanced at this column, you’re aware that I am a sativa person through and through, and I’m not a huge fan of the ol’ couch lock. (Yes, I know I have control issues. Leave me alone.) But, as with anything, too much of a good thing can be overkill, and there are some sativas or sativa hybrids that can push me into anxiety territory if I smoke them to oblivion. This does not appear to be one of them.

Not that it’s not hella strong, mind you. I’m pretty sure I could feel the effects of Fainting Goat after the first toke. One inhale and I could feel my spirits rising, and all of the Monday stress drain away en masse. Never a bad thing. Things only went uphill from there. With each toke of the bowl, I could feel the happiness building, to the point where I was definitely (and inadvertently) sporting a Cheshire Cat grin. I didn’t really give a shit, though. Smiling is badass, especially when you’re so high that everything just seems to make that grin stretch a little higher to the sky. It’s borderline therapeutic.

And then, oddly enough, things leveled out. I was still beyond happy – ain’t nothin’ raining on my Fainting Goat parade – but I was also ready to tackle all the things. I found myself to be a fountain of ideas, all of which were spewing forth with no control. (Listen. I am a damn genius and know exactly how to solve the world’s writing problems when I’m high, okay?)

This strain would be a badass boost if you’re dealing with some creative hurdle you can’t get past, or if someone or something is utterly pissing you off. It would be super hard to be irritated or boring vanilla after Fainting Goat, and if you can pull that off, well… we can’t be friends.

DGO Pufnstuf

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