Hi there. If you’re my neighbors, I’d like to take this time to reassure you that the coughing and choking you heard from my home last weekend was not me spreading seeds of COVID-19 all over. It was me choking on a bowl of some of weed — well, a bowl of GMO from Prohibition Herb, to be exact. I know it sounded like I was dying, but the reality was that this weed just kicked my ass so hard that I could barely breathe.
Anyway, back to GMO. If you haven’t seen GMO on Prohibition’s shelves, it’s probably because this is a new strain for the dispensary. And, they’re releasing it right at a time when we need it most, because let me tell you, this bad boy will kick your ass off of this planet, into outer space, and well away from anything even sort of related to coronavirus. In other words, it’ll give you a serious distraction from reality, which I’m guessing most of us need.
I got to try this strain out last week before it hit the shelves, and holy mother of god was I stoned after just one bowl. This strain smells like so strong of spice, gasoline, and skunk — you could smell it THROUGH the container, you guys — and is a hybrid of Chemdawg and GSC, which explains at least some of the stench. It tests in at 33.88% THC, which is undoubtedly why I got high as actual hell. Tis a lot of THC indeed.
It was a great high, though — the kind that instantly hits and pulls you out of a funk almost immediately. I went from a grumpy ass sober person to someone who was so high they were mumbling to themselves about why Archer’s face is a different tone than his shirtless body. I vaguely remember doing that, by the way, but the people I live with certainly remember (and won’t let it freaking go). I needed that escape, too — all of the news about political infighting, the rising numbers of people with coronavirus, and the fear of not finding toilet paper can be a lot, even for a proper cynic like me who expects such dire circumstances to occur.
Oh, and I also ate a metric shit ton of snacks afterward, so prepare yourselves, because along with that brain break comes the most epic case of munchies I have ever. freaking. had. I remember eating an apple, some donuts (yeah, City Market in the midst of a pandemic for the win!), whatever leftovers I could find, and a bunch of candy I had stashed away for that exact purpose. So, if you’re trying to watch those calories or you were one of the last to the grocery store this week, you may want to order takeout or find something healthy to snack on beforehand. Cause uh, you will be hungry. No doubt.
But you’ll also be happy — at least while you’re stoned — which counts for a lot in the current political climate. And as a bonus, once you aren’t stoned anymore, you’ll probably be asleep, which is precisely what happened to me after I laid around muttering to myself while shoving all my coronavirus rations in my mouth. I passed the hell out and slept like a baby. Thanks, GMO!
So, if you’re over 21 and looking for a way to exit your mind for a while, I would scurry up to Prohibition with a bottle of hand sanitizer and some cash. This bud is going to fly off the shelves, friends, and if I were you I’d stock up before it does. Screw toilet paper; worry about getting some GMO bud instead.