So, we have a vape cartridge showdown for you this week. We’re going to be looking at – and trying out, of course – the Javelina Refined Distillate Cartridge and the Greendot Labs Full Spectrum Extract Pen. Both are available at Chronic Therapy in Cortez, and both fit your standard battery. Both will get you high as a mother…well, you know the saying.
But, that’s pretty much where the similarities end. The Greendot Labs cartridge is sleek and minimalist from the packaging to the actual cartridge, and it’s geared toward the cannabis connoisseur (or your friend who just HAS to show off). The Javelina cartridge, on the other hand, is sold at your average price point. It’s kinda funky, with tiny marijuana plants etched into the oil-slick colored cartridge. It reminds me of one of those blacklight posters you could snag at Spencer’s Gifts back in the day. (Yes, I’m old.)
But, the packaging doesn’t much matter. As usual, it’s what’s INSIDE that counts. Inside the Greendot cartridge was a full spectrum extract from a strain called Fatso, which is a cross of GMO and Legend OG. The Javelina cartridge was filled with Tangie and Durban Poison, two strains that are always all right in my book. So, let’s start by looking at the Greendot cartridge, shall we?
This is the more expensive of the two cartridges, and runs about $70 or so for just the cartridge without the battery. I vaped this concentrate with a friend on a random weeknight, and I was impressed with how quickly the concentrate heated into vapor. There was no need to increase the temp and risk burning the oil, nor was there any need to repeatedly click the button on the pen to heat it up. First click, first hit, things worked perfectly.
According to the package, we should have tasted dark roast coffee, garlic, and fuel, but I’m going to tell you that I’m not sure I tasted any of those things. It kind of smelled like coffee, but mostly just tasted slightly like…well, weed to me. I was fine with it, cause I’m not entirely sure I want to know what a combination of dark roast coffee and garlic tastes like, to be quite frank. Weed > garlic coffee and gas.
It didn’t take long for this cartridge to work its magic, either. We each took about seven or eight hits each, and by the time we were done passing the pen back and forth, we were blitzed. My hands felt so high, and apparently also wiggly, according to my notes, and I had one massive ass body high. I felt like I could feel every molecule in my body. My notes are basically nonsense regarding this vape, and say stuff like, “I feel like I’m flat and my body is waving in the wind.” Sounds pretty rad to me, but I don’t remember any of it. I also made a note to myself that I was, once again, reading my phone while randomly squinting one eye closed. Somebody help me. I don’t know what that new phenomenon is, but it’s ridiculous and eventually someone’s going to see me do it.
Now, onto the Javelina cartridge. This cartridge is about half the price of the Greendot, and ours contained a combination of Tangie and Durban Poison. Unlike the Greendot package, it didn’t specify what I should be tasting or smelling. I’m fine with that. There’s too much pressure to taste whatever it is when it’s explicitly spelled out anyway.
I stuck my nose right to the cartridge but I honestly couldn’t smell anything. Like, nothing. It smelled like nothing. I’m actually cool with that for a number of reasons. The first is I’d rather smell nothing than garlic coffee, and the second is that there are times when you want to be discreet about what you’re vaping and would prefer people think it’s a Juul or something and not a vape full of cannabis oil. Well, that’s what you’re getting with the Javelina cartridge. A whole lot of discreetness, at least until someone takes a closer look and sees those tiny marijuana plants on the pen. Then you’re outed. But until then…
Anyway, I vaped this cartridge with the same friend for the sake of science and this story, and it was pretty clear from the jump that this was going to act as much more of a sativa. We imbibed before a party, and then spent the entire time at the party laughing to ourselves about how slow time was going and at each other’s stupidity. At one point, the friend said something to the effect of: “Will water help this dry mouth?” Needless to say, I lost my shit. I couldn’t breathe. How can someone be so hilariously dumb? I love it.
So, at the end of the day, both of these cartridges were pretty great, both for their own reasons. Do I think the Greendot cartridge is worth almost twice what the Javelina is? I don’t. But I’m also probably not its target market. I care whether the product will get me high, has been grown with care, and doesn’t contain any lingering chemicals from the extraction process. Everything else is just white noise.
DGO Pufnstuf
