Strain review: Kryptonite, your friend and Superman’s foe

by DGO Pufnstuf

We are on a superhero strain review streak, folks. Last week, we reviewed Bruce Banner, the Hulk, smash! of cannabis strains. And this week, we’re checking out Kryptonite, a Superman-stopping hybrid strain that’s steeped in mystery, with origins, and perhaps whereabouts, unknown.

This strain is rumored to be bred by Oaksterdam University and is supposedly a cross between Mendocino Purps and Killer Queen. While that would make sense – this indica hybrid can produce a LOT of THC – we have our doubts that this was a human-bred phenotype after smoking it. It seems more likely that this bud came from the planet Krypton, not to stop Superman, but to help him relax after a hard day of smashing villains. For us mere mortals, it’s likely a strain that will knock you (and any pain or insomnia you may be dealing with) on your proverbial, and perhaps literal, ass.

For real. If you want to be hurled into a relaxed state with the force of a thousand superheroes, you should grab some Kryptonite. Tis no joke, friends. We smoked a little bit of this bud – for real, just a little – and it was immediately like we’d been plastered to the couch. Our arms felt like noodles – numb and heavy – and our eyelids did not want to cooperate with staying up more than halfway, despite our stern internal discussion with them. Tactile responses felt heightened and elevated – our ice cold water felt like it had come straight from the Antarctic waters when we held it – and while our bodies most certainly slowed down, it felt a bit like we could feel every moment, every life-sustaining ANYTHING happening in our bodies, whether it was the automatic respirations or blood pumping through our limbs. (Shut up. We were clearly high.)

And, as with the effects of the strain, the taste of Kryptonite was equally as interesting. This strain emits a smooth, sweet smell and flavor, which is quite pleasant. There are a few earthy, pine tree undertones in there, but the most accurate way to describe this strain is simply to call it sweet, both in a literal and figurative sense.

This strain’s cerebral effects are also sweet. It’s the type of bud that makes it easy for your mind to wander into those weird, dark crevices of your brain that you won’t normally travel to. It’s definitely a thinker’s strain – you’ll dredge up of everything and anything brilliant, and you’ll solve all the world’s problems – but your arms will be too comfy to care about writing them down. Pure thinker bliss.

Anyhow, it doesn’t much matter where this mystery strain came from, or whether it’s Superman’s go-to on his time off, or his Achilles heel. That’s his problem. All that matters is that YOU should make it your relaxation go-to, especially if you like melting into the furniture. You will not be disappointed.

DGO Pufnstuf


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