Strain review: Lazercat Turbo Amethyst Live Rosin Lava

by DGO Pufnstuf

We need to discuss something serious, you guys: cartoons. Have you ever gotten stoned and watched “Over the Garden Wall,” that cartoon miniseries that ran on Cartoon Network in 2014? Yes, that is a very specific question, but I feel it’s important nonetheless.

Why do I feel it’s important, you ask? Well, because I got stoned and watched “Over the Garden While” with the help of some Lazercat Live Rosin Lava – the Turbo Amethyst strain, to be exact – and in that moment I knew I was living my best life. I just want you guys to do the same.

If you aren’t into cartoons, well, go away cause this review ain’t for you. (Kidding. I’m kidding. You can stay.) If you are into cartoons, you should go get yourself some Lazercat Turbo Amethyst lava, cause it will make all your cartoon experiences that much better.

I picked up a gram of this fancy extract from Prohibition Herb, which is currently carrying four different strains of the stuff. I chose the indica-dominant Turbo Amethyst for the name, obviously, and it was a pretty badass choice, if I do say so myself. I popped the lid off the tiny jar and was impressed with how crystal clear the pale yellow concentrate was. It sat in the bottom of the jar like a thin layer of yellow jelly, and I was almost too mesmerized by its looks to ruin it with the dab pen.

ALMOST. Once I stuck my nose in it and caught a whiff of the pungent pine forest within I couldn’t help myself: I had to try it out. One hit in and I knew this was something special. And by that I mean I choked like I had never choked before, to the point where my housemate came to make sure I was still alive. Once they confirmed that it was just the weed and not some weird bout of undiagnosed asthma, they proceeded to laugh at me – to my face ­– for entirely too long.

I didn’t care though. This stuff tasted great, despite making my throat seize up and go numb with one hit. I continued to indulge until I could feel that old familiar tingling run down my arms and into my head. And, once I was blissfully high, I flipped on “Over the Garden Wall” and let that weird ass cartoon take me away.

I don’t know if y’all are familiar with that miniseries, but it’s basically the strangest, best thing I’ve ever watched. It was even better while stoned on Turbo Amethyst, though, because that indica-driven high convinced me that I totally understood the journey of these two lost kids who do a bunch of weird crap and carry around a frog. I was one with the cartoon.

After spending a bunch of time in nirvana with Wirt and Greg, my cartoon heroes, I realized I was also freaking starving. Luckily I had prepared for this epic journey with a ton of chocolate-covered gummy bears, which I’d stashed next to my bed prior to smoking. It was a good call on my part, because I was entirely too couch-locked and mesmerized to get up for snacks. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’d convinced myself at that point that I was part of the cartoon and was talking to a girl-turned-bluebird alongside my animated pals.

I must have passed out at some point because I woke up a few hours later in a puddle of drool with an empty bag beside me, but I didn’t care. I felt refreshed from my weird cartoon journey. No regrets?

So, if you haven’t watched “Over the Garden Wall,” I highly recommend you remedy that issue. And if you haven’t smoked any of the Lazercat rosin, I recommend you do so while watching said miniseries. Let your mind be free, your dab pen be full of fancy rosin, and let your belly be full of gummy bears. It’s the only way to live.

DGO Pufnstuf

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