Well, earlier this week I got so stoned that things went fuzzy after what felt like five minutes and I passed out with a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos beside me. I only vaguely remember waking up to shovel more in my mouth. They were the limon flavor. I have no regrets.
How did I get this stoned, you ask? Well, it’s thanks to the folks over at The Green House in Pagosa, because they hooked me up with some Sylvie’s Whisper x Iron Triangle Happy Camper shatter. It made me an incoherent camper; the kind who’s on both a sugar high and a booze high, but with weed.
But, perhaps you aren’t familiar with Sylvie’s Whisper x Iron Triangle shatter, so let’s get the rundown. This shatter smells spicy and is made from a mix of the two strains. Sylvie’s Whisper is a sativa-dominant strain that we’ve reviewed before, and I believe it’s a cross between Jabberwocky and Black Domina, but don’t quote me on that. It’s basically the opposite of Iron Triangle, which is an indica-dominant hybrid that knocks me on my ass. Put those two together and you have this shatter.
And as with Iron Triangle flower, this Iron Triangle and Sylvie’s Whisper shatter is super freaking potent. This particular batch tested at 79.15 THC, which is as heavy duty as it sounds. I decided to try this shatter out in the late afternoon on a weekday, and the first thing I noticed was how smoothly it melted away when it touched the heating element on the dab pen. One minute it was there, the next it was clouding up into some perfect vapor.
What wasn’t so perfect was my ability to handle said vapor. I took a huge hit and was almost physically knocked back by the strength of this stuff. It was coming for me. I coughed, coughed again, and then continued. From there, things get really freaking fuzzy.
Luckily, I have my notes, which clue me into how brain-dead this shatter rendered me. Please enjoy.
Note 1: “Hearts are so weirdly cool. I can feel all the beats of mine. If it went on strike, I’d be fucked.”
Note 2: “Super stoned, super quick. Maybe five hits in.”
Note 3: “There was something bothering me on my phone and it annoyed me so much that I had to get a towel to wipe it off.” (If I recall correctly, there wasn’t actually anything on my phone screen. It was all in my head.)
And, Note 4: “I ain’t got no toenails, no how.”
And that’s when my notes end. I believe that was because I went to the kitchen, dug around for my stash of Flaming Hot Cheetos, and promptly laid back in my bed alongside them. Apparently Flaming Hot Cheetos will forever be my life partner. I don’t know what time it was when I passed out, I don’t know what I was thinking about when I passed out, and I don’t know how long I was passed out. What I do know is at some point I woke up and shoveled Cheetos in my mouth while still in the supine position, and the reason I remember this is because as with the shatter, I choked on the Hot Cheeto dust and nearly died. It really is time for an intervention.
So, yeah. I refuse to be ashamed of my stoner antics. I don’t know what that toenails comment was about – I most do have toenails, thanks – and I don’t know why I decided to make Flaming Hot Cheetos my bed partner. What I do know is that if you’re looking to get high off your literal ass, you should get some of this shatter. It’s good stuff.