Strange times we live in

by DGO Web Administrator

A high-quality auctionTurns out Colorado license plates are a hit. Literally. No, we mean literally.

An auction, which was held on the stoner holiday of 4/20, was meant to help support the Colorado Disability Funding Committee made about $45,410 earlier this month. The money made from this auction will go toward the funding of disability application assistance and to improve the quality of life and independence for people with disabilities.

So, what were they auctioning off on the greatest holiday known to man, you ask?

Well, in true Colorado fashion, the items up for grabs were stoner-themed license plates with weed-related text, like “ISIT420” and “TEGRIDY,” a nod to Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s South Park.

As you may have guessed, the stoner license plate that went for the most money was “ISIT420,” with a winning bid of $6,630.

Runner up was “TEGRIDY,” which went for $4,930. “BONG” — a personal favorite of ours for its simple message — raked in about $3,890, and “GREEN” brought in another $3,510.

“STASH” — another favorite of these stoners — went for $1,860.

If you missed out on this year’s event, don’t pout. The Colorado Disability Funding Committee is gearing up for another 4/20 auction next year, according to a state spokesperson, thanks in large part to how much of a hit this 4/20 auction was.

Can’t wait to roll around this city with “DANKVIBEZ” on our plates.

A skunky situationThe news here at DGO tends to be a little skunkier than it is at other outlets, but this story, which involves a stinky situation, has little to do with the sticky icky.

Earlier this month, police in Arvada rescued a skunk that had gotten its head stuck inside a Chick-fil-A cup. Video of the incident was posted on social media by Arvada Police Department, and, well, it’s about as awesome as you’d expect.

“We responded to the Apex recreation center this weekend for a skunk with his head was stuck inside a cup!” the department wrote on Twitter. “Lucky for skunk the Chick-fil-A milkshake cup came off easily and the healthy skunk rambled off into a culvert to sleep off his sugar rush.”

The clip, which has been widely circulated on social media, shows the trapped skunk walking around a muddy field with the cup on its head.

Two officers approach, and one can be heard saying to the skunk: “We’re coming, buddy.”

That officer approaches the skunk with a bag and a trash grabber, presumably to pull the Chick-fil-a cup off of the poor, confused skunk’s head.

The clip then shows the officer reaching toward the skunk with the grabber to carefully remove the cup from the skunk’s head. As she does this, the skunk backs itself out of the cup, which looks like a cup used for shakes at the chicken joint (not that we’d have any idea what those — or the delicious nuggets — look like).

Once the skunk is loose, the officer backs away — which was probably a smart idea, considering the skunk raises its tail and takes a couple of steps toward the officer.

Luckily, it must have reconsidered spraying its savior, because in the end, the skunk lowers its tail and takes off.

Skunky crisis averted?

Cadaver compostingIf you’re looking for a green way to say goodbye to this earth, Colorado may soon have one for you.

Say hello to composting human remains, which is likely to become a legitimate after-death option for Coloradans thanks to the Colorado House, which passed Senate Bill 21-006 on Tuesday. This bill legalizes natural organic reduction of human remains into soil — or in other words, the composting of human remains. The bill is headed to the governor’s desk for a signature and is likely to get it.

That doesn’t mean you can start preparing your composted funeral now, though. Even if the governor signs the bill, funeral homes won’t be able to offer it immediately. It will go into effect 90 days after it’s signed, but funeral homes will need time to get things ready before they can offer the service.

“I’m just really proud to give this option to people here in Colorado, which have the Colorado way of life in mind … And when people pass away, they can feel like they lived in Colorado and they can give back to Colorado and help the earth,” Rep. Brianna Titone, an Arvada Democrat who brought the bill last year before it was killed due to COVID, said.

Republican Rep. Matt Soper, who co-sponsored the bill, said it’s a business opportunity for funeral homes, but also “the ability to to do with your remains as you see fit, whether it’s burial, cremation, alkaline (hydrolysis) or this new form, which is natural organic reduction or composting.”

The bill passed the Senate unanimously, but 18 House GOP lawmakers voted against it. Douglas County Rep. Kim Ransom was one of the 18, and said that while the bill aligned with her ideals of defending personal choice, the “principles of respecting human remains … and respecting the human body” ultimately outweighed everything else.

“The idea when I was reading the bill over the compost piece was just very hurtful to me,” Ransom said. “I didn’t think it was something that we needed to have at this time because of the respect piece.”

All we can say is helllllll yahWhere are our Texas transplants at? We have some good news for you. Burger news!

Your beloved orange Texas burger spot — that’s right; we’re talking about Whataburger — will soon be coming to the Centennial State.

Unfortunately, the area it’s coming to will not be Durango. Not yet, anyway.

The chain announced it will be opening a Colorado training center and its first Colorado restaurant later this year in Colorado Springs. Anyone up for a road trip for spicy ketchup?

While that isn’t super convenient to satisfy our late-night Whataburger cravings, the good news is that there will be additional Colorado locations opening in 2022.

The new Whataburger training center will be located at 5905 Constitution Avenue in northeast Colorado Springs. The building needs to be remodeled to house the new training center, and those changes will begin soon. Completion is expected to happen by the summer, according to reps from Whataburger.

“Whataburger is growing, and we have more good news. It’s true we are planning to bring our iconic burgers and exceptional customer service to Colorado Springs. We’ll have more information to share in the future, but we have some great fans in Colorado Springs and we hope they’re as excited as we are.”

Oh, trust us. We are.

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