If you read my reviews (and if so, RIP your sanity), you may be well aware that I am rarely able to properly identify the hints of grass, fruit, and flowers in my weed. Most of the time weed just smells like weed to me, unless it has a super diesel-y or piney scent to it. Blame my deviated septum. It’s annoying, but I just typically can’t do it. Tell me a strain smells like funky old cheese and I’ll probably still just smell skunky, musty weed.
The fact that I’m lacking a cannabis connoisseur nose doesn’t particularly bother me. It’s fine. I don’t mind the skunky, musty smell of weed. It takes me back to those carefree high school days when we really were just modern-day hippies smoking doobies on the corner (or in my friend’s childhood treehouse). But it doesn’t exactly give you guys with better noses an idea of what you’re walking (or smelling) into with these strains.
Why am I telling you all of this, you ask? Well, it’s because I feel like I have finally, FINALLY managed to conquer that task—at least temporarily. And it all started with a little bit of The Sweeties strain from Prohibition Herb.
This strain, which is pretty new on Prohibition’s shelves, is an indica-leaning hybrid strain that was created by crossing White x Tahoe OG with Cookies x Face Off. Complicated, I know, but that’s how it be sometimes. And those complicated genetics are supposed to lead to a balanced high, which is the type of high I love.
This batch of bud is also supposed to smell like cinnamon, orange, hops, lavender, and pine, due to it containing terpenes like myrcene, caryophyllene, cedrene, and limonene. I didn’t know this little fact prior to reviewing it, though. Whenever possible, I’ve been trying to go into these reviews with a proverbial blindfold on to give you my unbiased opinion. So I didn’t do any real research beforehand.
And that, my friends, is why it’s so surprising to me that the first thing I noticed after I popped the lid off of the container was that The Sweeties smelled incredibly sweet—like a mix of sugar and spice.
That’s right, nerds. Rather than smelling good old-fashioned ditch weed, I smelled the terpenes. That’s an A+ job by the plant, I would say. (And maybe just a liiiiitle bit of that credit should go to the growers, too, I guess.)
It didn’t stop there, though. I started to tear a couple of the compact, purple- tinged nugs to shreds before tossing them into the grinder, and there it was again. The overwhelming smell of spicy, sugary fruits. We were two for two.
And the same rang true for the taste. I loaded this bad gal in a dry herb vape, took a hit, and it was sensory overload. I didn’t taste any skunky weed; I just tasted a sweet, herbal mix of flowery, fruity flavors every time
In other words, it was fricking AWESOME.
So was the high from this strain, which came on quickly and somewhat unexpectedly after a few puffs on the ol’ vape. One inhale, two inhales, three inhales, stoned.
How did I know I was stoned that quickly? Well, it’s simple. This strain wrapped around my brain to produce the most surreal feeling of being up in the clouds. I’m not entirely sure how to explain it, but it was like the weed was giving my head a friendly hug. I felt super happy and content, but my brain was also tingling with electricity and felt a little foggy, too.
From there, the tingling spread throughout the rest of my body, trickling down limb by limb. My arms were jumping with life, and then my legs, and then my feet. Kinda like the weed was ticking off the boxes one by one.
And then the euphoria set in. I was (don’t judge me) conducting this little weed experiment while zoning out and watching the latest episode of “90 Day Fiance,” which typically just annoys me to high hell, thanks to all the awful people who are featured on it. But it was not that way with The Sweeties. Not at all.
Rather than rolling my eyes so far into the back of my head that I went blind, I was bent over laughing instead. Everything that these weirdos did was hilarious to me. And then they were all sweet. And then considerate. And ultimately everything that’s good and nice and not evil in this world. Who knew how endearing they could be?
That euphoric feeling lasted for much longer than I expected, too. Those 90 Day episodes are hella long, but the ultra happy feeling persevered through the entire thing—even as I shoveled ice cream and cake in my mouth from the munchies.
I will tell you, though, that this feeling eventually tapered off, but it was a slow descent. Between the laughter and the happy smile plastered on my face, I barely even noticed it. And what it left in its wake was the calm, collected feeling of being totally freaking zen. I just felt calm and good and right.
Oh, and sleepy. I was also very, very sleepy.
Sleepy to the point that I found myself drifting off while supine on the couch, my brain floating in and out of consciousness on a pleasant cloud. That says a lot, considering this insomniac’s struggles with sleep.
So, rather than smoke another bowl and binge another episode of terrible trash panda TV, I opted to take my sleepy rear to bed instead. I laid down and immediately passed out. No tossing. No turning. And no scrolling on my phone. Just pure, blissful sleep. To say that The Sweeties was a surprising strain would be an understatement. I haven’t gotten the same joy that I got from the effects of this strain in a long time. And I certainly haven’t been as lucky at pinpointing the terpenes in my bud, either.
I’m chalking this strain up to a huge win. I love it, it’s perfect, and I’m going to buy out Prohibition’s stock of
The Sweeties before it gets snatched by the rest of you.
Fight me. (I kid, I kid. I’ll leave a little for the rest of you. Maybe.)