The weirdest headlines we saw across Colorado and New Mexico

by Amanda Push

We all need a good reason to scoff, chuckle, eye roll, or maybe even scratch our heads to break up the day’s tedium, and what better way than by scanning through news for the strangest headlines. Well, that’s what we do, anyway, and since there are plenty of weird things that happen across Colorado and New Mexico, we decided it was a good time to look back at 2018 on the headlines that made us gave pause and prompted a copy and paste to friends for their reactions. People are weird, man.

The solar observatory that was mysteriously shut downAnyone who has even an inkling of interest in space and/or UFOs didn’t miss out on this bit of hot tea. If you’ll remember, back in September, The Sunspot Observatory, a solar observatory in Sunspot, New Mexico, temporarily – and suddenly – closed for what seemed to be mysterious and vague reasoning. The sudden and bizarre closing instantly inspired speculation that involved the extraterrestrial, especially since the observatory is only about 85 miles from the infamous Roswell, where (we hope you already know this) a mysterious flying object was reported to have crashed in 1947. The Association of Universities for Research in Astronomy – the organization which manages the facility – announced that a “security issue” was the reason for the evacuation, and eventually pointed to a criminal investigation that was occurring as the reason for the closure. Aliens? Or criminals? Either way, this puzzling story was right up our alley.

The fools who stole oregano from a dispensaryThis headline made us laugh out loud at our desks when it first came out. A group of teens smashed a stolen van into a medical marijuana dispensary in Colorado Springs, and the thieves nabbed a bunch of containers of what they thought was sweet, sweet marijuana from Native Roots Dispensary. All was going according to their brilliant plan. Unfortunately for these punks, the display “marijuana” was actually oregano. Sorry, guys! Guess tricks really are for kids.

Homeless man makes home out of tunnel he dugBack in March, it was reported that a homeless man dug a tunnel eight feet underground in Clovis, New Mexico. Sean Heron, the tunnel digger, made sure to include features such as drawers, closets, and a bed in his home. While some neighbors were a little weirded out by the news, the tunnel was built on private property near a public park which left city officials unable to put the ixnay on his underground home. One Clovis resident put it this way: “Dig yourself a house underground, and you always have a home.”

The woman who blew up a urine sampleHave you ever heated up urine in a microwave? We haven’t, and we HOPE you haven’t either. Unfortunately for a 7-Eleven in Aurora, Colo., that was not the case thanks to Angelique Sanchez. One afternoon, one of the shop clerks heard a loud bang and watched Sanchez remove a white plastic bottle from the store’s microwave. The clerk, understandably confused, confronted Sanchez, who wiped “yellow liquid that smelled like urine onto the floor and walked out.” It turned out that Sanchez was taking a urine test for a potential employer and decided to employ the services of the 7-Eleven’s microwave. We’re just out here trying not to gag.

Amanda Push

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