Hello out there! This is Blaze and Puf, your two friendly neighborhood potheads. We’ve decided to answer your burning weed questions in this here magazine in a column called, well, “Ask a couple of potheads.” We’re doing this because we keep getting more and more texts and emails asking us things you guys think are too dumb to ask other people. Apparently we’re your safe place for answers on all things pot, and while we never mind chatting about the devil’s lettuce, we would appreciate you asking the questions sometime BEFORE midnight. (Sorry to call you out, mom.)
Otherwise, we want your questions. We freaking LOVE THAT, provided it’s at an hour when we aren’t passed out from too much of a good thing. For real. We like being the idiots who answer your deepest, darkest questions on things like, “How much THC is too much THC?” or “What is this that I’m vaping?”
So, in order to get you guys to stop texting us photos of some blurry lump of bright yellow wax at 2 a.m., we thought we’d open up a Q&A instead. You can ask us ANYTHING YOU WANT TO in here. There are no rules. You can even email us at 4 a.m. on a Tuesday if you want to. The world is your freaking pothead oyster! So come one, come all with your silly, embarrassing, or just plain weird questions about weed, weed-related issues, and whatever else you can dream up. Email them to our editor at editor@dgomag. com and we’ll do our best to answer them in the best way possible. And here we go.
How do the new weed delivery laws in Colorado work?
Blaze: While the state legislature approved HB1234 way back in 2019 (dang, wasn’t that a lifetime ago), it hasn’t been until 2021 that Marijuana Enforcement Division started handing out licenses to dispensaries to start delivering weed.
So far, only dispensaries in the Front Range (places like Denver, Aurora, and Boulder) have received licenses, unfortunately for the rest of Colorado. But, fingers crossed those licenses will soon make their way down to places like Pagosa Springs and Durango.
If you do happen to be lucky enough to live in those areas, you’ll need to order from a residence (Sorry, tourists, hotels don’t count!) and you’ll most likely have to pay a delivery fee to boot.
Puf: Well, funny you ask. I actually have no earthly idea how weed delivery works, mostly because I live in Durango, where there are no legal weed delivery services to utilize. Not yet, anyway.
That said, I am good with my research skillz some days, so here’s what I found out just for you.
For starters, as Blaze noted above, delivery is currently only available on the Front Range, so if you’re in our neck o’ the woods, you can’t get it. But if you’re in Denver or Boulder, you’re in luck.
There are some things you need to know, though.
— If you’re ordering weed, you need to have it delivered to your house. Deliveries are required to take place at a private residential address, so if you’re at a restaurant or a hotel, it’s pretty much a no go.
— Also, the person who does the ordering has to be the person who the order is delivered to. The address on your license doesn’t have to match the address where your delivery is made to, but it does have to be a residence. So, as long as you’re at least 21 with a valid ID, you can order weed delivery and have it dropped off at a friend or relative’s house. Just make sure you answer the door without anyone else in tow, or you might all be required to show your IDs.
— As is the status quo for buying weed in Colorado, you’ll probably need some cash on hand when you order. Some delivery services will take cards, but you need to tip your driver — and you may not have the option of paying with a card when your weed arrives. So before you order, maybe make sure you’ve got some dollar, dollar bills y’all in your pocket.
— Another thing to note is that cash refunds aren’t issued for legal marijuana purchases. Why does that matter? Well, because it’s probably pretty likely that you will get the wrong order delivered at least once. Just think about how often it happens with Uber Eats and tell me that’s not going to be the case. Our friendly weed drivers are almost certainly more careful than Uber Eats, mind you, but if you’re delivered the wrong order, you might have to cancel it when your driver gets there. Or, you may have to wait a while to exchange it for the right product. So, that could be tricky.
— You could be in for some pretty steep fees, which really shouldn’t surprise you (or anyone) at this point. Delivery fees are a normal part of getting, well, things delivered to you — and that includes weed. How else are the drivers, dispensaries, and delivery services going to make any money if they don’t tack a little bit extra on the top?
That said, weed is already taxed at more than 20%, so that extra $10 to $15 delivery charge (or whatever it may be) is a bit pricey when you calculate it in. And, as you may have guessed, the delivery charges will vary depending on the service, so don’t be shocked at the lack of continuity in the pricing.
Other than that, I have no idea. I do know my very sweet but very noob parents had weed delivered to a restaurant in California because my dad’s knee was killing him while they were on vacation and they LOVED it, so I hope Colorado starts to allow more freedom with deliveries. But other than that, I got nothin’.
My dog gets so anxious around the holidays when we travel. Would CBD help?
Puf: Heeeeey! Join the anxious dog club! My huge, 120 pound Great Dane-Boxer mix is also a neurotic nutcase! He likes to lick his skin obsessively — and it can quickly evolve into chewing if we aren’t on top of it.
And how do we stay on top of it? Freaking CBD, that’s how.
The beautiful thing about giving your pet CBD is that most dispensaries carry flavored CBD that’s created specifically for pets.
We started giving our dogs that bacon-flavored cannabinoid goodness when our old dog was still alive and kickin’ (but in serious pain because of his joints).
He’s gone now, but his buddy who was left behind is still a CBD monster, and it works! A dose in his food every day and his stress levels are much lower — kinda how a dose of weed each day can help my stress levels, too. We’re clearly twins.
There is one caveat, though. You should be aware that THC can be extremely dangerous for dogs, so don’t give your best boy or girl anything with THC in it. Make sure you splurge and get the stuff that’s just for pets instead. You don’t want to risk the side effects of giving your pet the stuff made for humans — no matter how safe and awesome it may be for us.
Also, make sure you’re aware of the possible side effects, which include:
Dry mouth: Research has shown that CBD can decrease the production of saliva, and for dogs, this could mean they’re way more thirsty than normal. In other words, make sure that water bowl is filled, fool!
Lowered blood pressure: High doses of CBD have been known to cause a temporary drop in blood pressure, so your dog might feel a little lightheaded, though they won’t be able to communicate that fact unless you’ve taught them how to speak real human language.
Drowsiness: The calming effect of CBD can be great for doggy anxiety, but it can also cause slight drowsiness, especially when using higher doses. So maybe don’t dose Fido with CBD prior to some park outing or hike or whatever you outdoorsy people do with yourselves.
Other than that, I’m all for it. My dog loves it — and I love not hearing him lick himself silly while I’m trying to work. It’s a win-win.
Blaze: If your pet has some real bad anxiety around traveling (or waiting for you to get back from your travels), CBD may be a good option to help calm their fears. Like for humans, CBD for pets comes in many forms — treats, topicals, and oils that you can put in food.
However, since there’s not a lot of studies out there at the moment on the long-term effects of CBD on animals, we suggest talking to your vet before handing over any old treats with CBD in them. In fact, your vet might even have a few suggestions of what to give your beloved pet. If you decide to do your own research on the matter, be sure to check for studies that have been done as well as thoroughly read reviews and ingredient lists of whatever CBD product you’re planning to get.
Does Colorado’s new higher possession limit mean I can buy more weed at the dispensary?
Blaze: For some context, after HB21- 1090 was passed by Colorado legislature earlier this year, recreational marijuana users can now be in possession of up to two ounces of marijuana (it was just one prior to the change).
Unfortunately, while that’s good news for stoners, those new rules do not apply to your local dispensary. According to the
Colorado Marijuana Enforcement Division, dispensaries can still only sell you up to one ounce of marijuana at a time per day.
While that is a bit of a drag, unfortunately, on the bright side, this new law is also helping those with past marijuana convictions to clear their records.
Puf: I WISH.
So, Blaze is right (for once; not sure how that happened). While you can legally now possess more weed on your person in our fine state, you can’t just waltz into the dispensary and grab two ounces at once. It ain’t gonna happen.
That’s because the key word here is “possess.” Prior to this change, if you were caught with more than one ounce on you by a cop or whatever, you could be in a bit of legal hot water because it surpassed the legal limit. Now you can be “caught” with up to two ounces of weed in your pocket, your purse, or wherever you silly adults store it without having to worry about the legal ramifications of having a ton of weed on you.
But the rules for the dispensaries are still the same: you can only buy up to an ounce worth of weed before you’re cut off for the day. That’s how it is, and that’s how it be sometimes. Sorry for your loss.
On the upside, you can literally just return the following day and buy more. It’s not that big of a deal, yo.
I’m having trouble sleeping at night but don’t like to smoke. Will edibles help instead?
Puf: Well, while I can’t say definitively that edibles will make you sleep like a gosh-darn baby, I can tell you that they knock me the hell out — but not before making me a goofball of nonsensical ideas!
I’ve always been a little sensitive to the effects of edibles, so if I take an indica edible or a hybrid, it will almost certainly put me to sleep for long stretches of time. Like, we’re talking eight straight ass hours of time — which is unheard of for me. My brain is basically a spinning hamster wheel that goes all day, every day. But something in the edibles (hint: the THC) shuts it off.
It’s awesome and I love it, but I also just opt to smoke an indica strain or concentrate before bed instead. I like to know that I’ll wake up with a clear head whenever I need to (there could be robbers or something to contend with), and I can’t seem to do that with edibles. So I guess I’m not really the person to ask.
That said, I do have a ton of friends and family members who rely on edibles for sleep. Freaking insomniacs everywhere! And, funny enough, they all love a certain type of edible for it (hint, the Wyld sleep line — I can’t remember what it’s called but your friendly neighborhood budtender will know) to get the job done.
There are tons of edible options out there, too — and a lot have been formulated for sleepytime, so the short answer is yes, I do think edibles will help. Just make sure you get some advice and choose the right ones. Don’t just blindly grab a sativa or something — or you could end up in the opposite boat instead.
Blaze: Everybody’s a little different, but like for many people, edibles may just be the ticket you need to a good night’s sleep.
Obviously, if you’re having serious sleep issues, like insomnia, you’ll want to consult your doctor, but in other instances, edibles might help.
Both CBD and THC have properties that could help you sleep, but if you want to avoid getting stoned before you go to bed, go with cannabis products that have high CBD content and low THC. Some companies, like 1906, make edibles specifically to help users sleep.
If you’re really struggling to find something that works for you, however, be sure to ask your friendly neighborhood budtender for some suggestions.
