Ask a couple of potheads

by DGO Staff

From losing the munchie weight to cheap pipe probs, here are your burning questions for DGO’s resident stoners

I’m a big-time pothead, but it’s time I lose all the weight I gained from the munchies. Are there certain weed items I should avoid if I want to do this?

Puf: Umm, if you find them, please let us know what they are. Last night I woke up at 11 p.m. after passing out on edibles and ate an entire second dinner. No shame in my munchie game, I guess. I don’t even know anymore.

I guess the only real advice I can give you is that you should probably stay away from heavy indicas. I say that from per-sonal experience and NOT from scientific reasoning. All I know is that anecdotally, I tend to eat a lot — like so many gummy bears — after smoking an indica. When I smoke a hybrid or a sativa I tend to get much less hungry.

That said, I freaking love indicas so you can pry them out of my cold, dead, bloated-with-gummy-bear hands, I guess. Let me live my damn fluffy life already, shit.

Also, I’m being pretty unfair to indi-cas with my answer. There are plenty of indicas that probably won’t give you the munchies, but what they are, I don’t know. The thing about weed is that it affects everyone differently, and what gives me the munchies may not give you the munchies. Anything with THC in it runs the risk of giving you a serious case of hunger, so know that before you imbibe. It’s really trial and error for every person. So try different strains, different percentages of THC, and different edibles and tinctures if you’re into that. Find what makes you less hungry and stick with it. That’s the only way to really get the right answer to this question.

One other thing you may want to try is to choose a strain with high CBD and less THC. The cannabinoid CBD typically doesn’t induce the munchies the way that a high dose of THC typically does, but it also won’t make you as high. If you can handle that, you may have some success going that route.

Now go out and try it. And don’t forget to report back, thanks. Our fluffy butts could use it.

Blaze: When you figure out how to drop a bunch of weight while still being a stoner, let me know. Please. Because I need to do this as well, though I’m not too sure I can do both at the moment. See, when we ingest cannabis, it attaches itself to then activates our bodies’ CB1 receptors. These can be found in the brain AND stomach, which is why marijuana gives us the munchies or, as I like to say, turns our stomachs into black holes in which no amount of chips or brownies can quench.

I tend to buy cheap pipes to smoke weed out of. Inevitably, they always end up breaking, getting lost, or end up getting gross enough to where I don’t want to clean them. Is that a bad way to use weed?

Blaze: Cheap pipes for life! Did I just discover a new band name? As I used to do the same thing, I personally don’t think it’s a bad way to ingest weed, but it’s not so great for the environment to keep buying and throwing away cheap pipes. If it’s becoming a real problem or you’re feeling guilty or you’re constantly having to replace your hardware, consider going the edible route (much harder to lose) or buying an expensive vape that will inspire you to not lose or break it.

Puf: I mean, no offense, but the way you’re using weed sounds pretty bad, to be honest. Stop using cheap pipes! It’ll change your damn life. There are so many affordable
rigs or pipes out there that are worth every penny — and they don’t take many pennies to afford.

If I were you, I’d save up for an entry-level dry herb vape. They aren’t great, and the parts aren’t always the most sturdy, but good god, it’s a lot better than having to scrape sticky resin out of the bottom of a glass one-hitter. I’ve tried that time and again, and NONE of the tricks on the internet work. I’ve dumped them into glasses of alcohol. I’ve used dish soap. I’ve used special soap. Nothing works.

What does work is baking that weed like an oven in a dry herb vape. When you’re done, you just dump out the brown, baked weed and call it a day. So easy. So, I highly recommend that route.

What I do not recommend is smoking out of whatever is cheap. You don’t want to end up smoking out of something that isn’t great for your lungs or your body, and you run that risk when you cheap out. The manufacturer of that cheap pipe could have drilled out the holes in the glass, which doesn’t just weaken it — it also leaves behind glass dust or other contaminants in some cases. And that isn’t shit you want in your lungs. I promise.

If you really can’t afford better pieces, roll a joint and call it a day. At least you know what you’re smoking out of when you do that — and you can replace a pack of Zig-Zags way cheaper than you can replace a pipe. So, I guess that’s a win-win.

I’m having some lady troubles – when it’s that time of the month I get the worst cramps and just feel terrible. Can weed help with that?

DGO September 2023Blaze: Oof, you have our deepest condolences. First off, we highly recommend you consult your physician first. I know looks can be deceiving, but Puf and I are unfortunately not doctors. BUT we can give you a few recommendations based on scientific studies.

Secondly, we need you to read this entirely useless study that was done on the subject in 1847.

Thirdly, while not a lot of studies have been done specifically on cannabis’s effect on menstrual cramps, there is plenty of evidence to show that marijuana has a potent impact on pain. In 2017, a study was published in the Cannabis Cannabinoid Res. studying this very subject, and in 2015, The Journal of Pain published a study on the safety of people using cannabis as a pain management substance.

Puf: Weed. Can. Help. With. EVERY-THING. I’m not sure how long you’ve been reading our weed-y rants, but I’ve noted a couple of times in some early reviews that I suffer from a little thing called upper-bowel Crohns. I know you want to know about my guts and all, but it is what it is.

Anyway, it’s not the same as hormonal cramps, but it does suck a big ol’ butt when it flares up. I can’t eat. I can barely function. And it’s not uncommon for me to be stuck in the emergency room for flu-ids when it gets really bad. I have learned to live with it, but you know what? Weed helps a metric shit ton (pun intended), and I will not let anyone pry it out of my cold, dead hands for that reason alone.

When my body freaks out, all it takes is a joint or a puff of a vape to be able to eat or drink normally. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how, but I know it works. I don’t even really care what the mechanism is, to be honest. It just works and that’s enough for me.

Now, I can’t promise you it will knock out your cramps, but I can tell you that there is a very good chance it will. This stuff works to help cancer patients endure pain or get through chemo and it helps chronic pain patients wean off of dangerous opioid painkillers. Chances are good that if you throw back an edible or puff-puff-pass the next time you have cramps you’ll get some relief. Worth a try, you know?

My dog gets so hyper and I’m trying to find ways to get him to chill out! Can dogs ingest cannabis and is it healthy for them?

Puf: Obligatory “I am not a (dog) doctor” here, but I think I can answer this. So, yes and no. While THC and other cannabinoids can help dogs chill out, you need to be careful about the amount and the type of cannabis product your giving el doggo.

Here’s the issue. Your dog is a lot more sensitive to THC than you are, so if your dog gets high, it gets reaaaaaaaaaal effing high. Too much of a good thing means a stressed out, potentially MORE hyper dog on your hands and a traumatized pet parent. That is no bueno for anyone or anydog involved.

That said, there’s a chance that THC can also be toxic to dogs, so again, you need to be careful about what you’re giving your pet when it comes to cannabis. Luckily, there are PLENTY of pet tincture options to give your dog to help them chill the hell out. I give my big ol’ beast of a dog a bacon-flavored pet tincture that has just CBD in it and it’s a lifesaver. He goes from 130 hyper horse to calm and relaxed in the blink of an eye.

CBD is also good for his health, which is primarily what I give it to him for. But if you’re planning to give your dog THC? Don’t. Stick with CBD products instead. It’s not worth the potential headache of an anxious, hyper dog or the potential health ramifications. But that’s just really my opinion, I guess.

Blaze: Aw, poor kiddo. And poor you! Luckily, we have a good answer for you: yes! CBD is safe for your precious canine. You can get CBD treats (that will not make your dog high) in the form of dog treats, so your puppers will love them. You may have to experiment with which ones work best for your dog and lifestyle, but rest assured, CBD will definitely calm your dog down.

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