Real talk: If I had been in the Garden of Eden, you can almost bet your ass I would have taken a big ol’ bite of that forbidden fruit that Eve indulged in, even knowing that it would relegate all of mankind to a life of leaf underwear. I’m just that kind of idiot.
Considering my penchant for making biblically dumb decisions, it should come as no surprise that I was intrigued (and a bit scared) by an edible called Forbidden Fruit. I like to indulge in things I shouldn’t have, so, when Prohibition Herb suggested we try out these Forbidden Fruit baddies, which are essentially dried pieces of actual fruit that’s been doused in THC, well, I heard the word forbidden and jumped on it. Sort of. I tentatively jumped on it, because as much as I like things that are out of reach, edibles are one day going to be the death of me.
You see, there are people like me who can smoke, and vape, and smoke some more, but those same people become massive idiots after they’ve consumed any type of edible. I’ve spoken candidly (perhaps TOO candidly) about my inability to function after ingesting edibles because most of them make me feel like my face is dripping off its structural components … or something to that effect. So, as interested as I was, I was also quietly a bit hesitant to ingest a piece of forbidden fruit. It sounded dangerous.
And it was dangerous, kind of. But not dangerous in a bad way, surprisingly. Dangerous in a fun way. But we’ll get to that.
Before we launch into a long diatribe about what a dumbass I am after an edible, let’s talk about Forbidden Fruit. As I mentioned above, this edible is made from real fruit, which is dried and then doused with 10 mg of THC, which, you know, will get you high. There are several types of fruit to choose from, including pineapple, mango, apple (and cinnamon), apricot, and kiwi, among others.
I chose to go with the pineapple (as recommended to me by the budtender) and tossed one back after a long ass day at work. It tasted like, well, pineapple, as I expected, without a hint of weed-y aftertaste. What I wasn’t expecting was that it would take less than like, 25 minutes to work, but it wasn’t long after I’d thrown this fruit down the hatch that I started to feel that familiar warmth of being stoned creep into my appendages. It seeped quickly into my brain (not literally, so don’t freak out) and then took over all my synapses. Shortly after? I. Was. STONED. Like, stoned, stoned. I tried to take notes but kept forgetting that I was taking notes, and found myself both amused and distracted by the commercials on TV. Who knew Life Alert could be so fascinating?
Here’s the cool part, though. While I was certainly more relaxed, and while mundane things like commercials were entertaining, I was still in total control of my faculties. Sure, my eyes “felt stoned,” according to my sparse notes, but my skin felt like it was secured to my skeletal structure where it’s supposed to be, and I was able to get up from the couch and eat several cupcakes with no assistance.
This feeling went on for quite some time, but at no point was I uncomfortably high. I just sat back, watched a few infomercials, and enjoyed the ride. At some point I passed out, and woke up thirsty and refreshed, my long ass day at work well behind me.
Listen. I’ll never love edibles because the high from them is so intense for me, but if there’s one I can tolerate, it’s this Forbidden Fruit. I was chill, entertained, and high after I popped a chunk, AND the pineapple was delicious, which is good enough for me.
DGO Pufnstuf
